


Drawing Love

by marksondaejae



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-08-28 06:35:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8435305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marksondaejae/pseuds/marksondaejae
Summary: “If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”





	1. Chapter 1

College is the time when the teenagers make big decisions. The time when they decided what they want to follow in their life, when they start to think about their future carefully. Well, that’s what people told Jackson, but Jackson doesn’t feel that pressure on his shoulders. For him, choosing a college was like choosing a high school or a new car.

So, here he is now, standing between a bunch of new people, trying to memorize everyone’s face. His new group of study seems to like him, going to college because they have to not because they want to, or some of them chose this college to follow their dream of becoming something in the art industry.

He has chosen this college because this is what he could do, dance. He didn’t want to learn something new and complicate his life more.

“So, like you know we need a group leader,” Someone who had the courage or cares about college spoke up. She looks like someone who likes to study, but Jackson had learned from his life experience that appearances can lie.

“You should be, then.” Some other says. Jackson looks over at this new face, admiring his soft appearances. He looks like some anime with some imperfection.

“I don’t have the time to be responsible for this group.” The first persons smile, turning to the group who are granted around a big table on one of the college rooms. “Anyone wants the position?”

Jackson already got bored. He once was responsible for a project group in high school and did a poor job, so he decided that never ever again will takes more responsibilities than he can carry.

Looking around, a boy with jet black hair and piercing eyes caught his attention. He looks beautifully handsome if Jackson can say that. The said boy caught the Hong Kong native eyes and smiles in his way. In a way or another Jackson found himself smiling back at the boy.

That first period went out like that. First, trying to figure out who wants the leadership of the group and second, exchanging glare and subtle smiles between Jackson and the still unknowing boy.

On the free period, Jackson took the time and run toward the camps to change his clothes. He dresses in jeans and a white shirt to make a good first impression, but his really first class is an introduction to dance, so he needs to change and be more comfortable even if they won’t do any step and will just talk about it.

“Oh, Jinyoung, “ Jackson says taking off his shirt. “-why the hell are you here?” Jackson throws the shirt somewhere on the floor and picks a random T-shirt and puts it back on before Jinyoung could answer his question. This fast Jackson moves when he wants.

“Eating my breakfast.” Jinyoung lazily answers taking a spoon from his cereals and milk.

Jackson and Jinyoung had become friends in highs school when they met in a dance class. They started to talk and clicked together like two pieces of a puzzle. Since they had the same interests, both decided to apply for this college but for Jackson’s disappointment Jinyoung choose singing as his major meanwhile Jackson went with dance until the end.

“Huh?” Jackson stops to stare at his best friend. Shaking his hand, he starts to take down his pants. “You don’t have classes in the morning?”

“Not Monday.”

“Lucky bastard.” Jackson throws his pants at Jinyoung, but he misses. “I need to hurry before my next class starts.” The raven haired boy traces his hair with his fingers and puts a cap.

“God luck,” Jinyoung says before Jackson is out of the door. Jackson is always like that, doing things on the last mile.

The campus is big since he got into a prestigious college and he really needs to cross it since his first class is in the other part.

Panting hard and resting his weight on his knees, Jackson makes a little happy dance in his head congratulation himself that he made it on time.

“You are Jackson, right?” The handsome boy from before asks, offering his hand.

Jackson smiles and takes the boy hand saying “Right, and you? I have a problem, I am not good at remembering names.” He laughs a bit, rubbing the back of his head after he let go of the stranger's hand.

“I am Jaebum.” The new name smiles making Jackson smile even wider.

“Nice to meet you, Jaebum.” His names roll easily on Jackson’s tongue.

They easily fall into a conversation about why they choose to come here and what they expect from life. Jackson had learned that Jaebum isn’t major in dance, but he likes it and took an extra course to perfection himself. He was with his group this morning because he messed up the schedule.

The teacher came late in their first class, so Jackson had made a mental note to never run to this class, anyway, he won’t be late.

This first class was bored, talking about how danced started and how it evaluated over the years.

Jaebum left the class with a promise to see Jackson again next time and in the meanwhile to enjoy the college because, after it, they have to take their own lives in hands.

***

 

“So, I’ve met this guy, he is like stunning,” Jinyoung says, hugging close his teddy bear meanwhile Jackson is peeling an orange throwing the remains at Jinyoung to wake him up from his daze.

“Well, darling, you better start to fluff your way to him if you don’t want anyone to steal him from you.” Jackson thinks about Jaebum again and eats a piece of his orange. Well, the boy is handsome and he can see something more between them but first, of all, they need to know each other more.

“Well, I can’t fluff my way to him because he is taken.” Jinyoung makes a sad face that has Jackson laugh his ass off. Just Jinyoung can day dream about someone taken. “I saw then walking hand in hand on my way to the campus.”

“Well, you better steal him.” Jackson jokes at poor Jinyoung.

The slight younger boy glares at Jackson and throws his pillow at him. “You are a mean person, Jackson Wang. I don’t even know why I am friends with you.”

“Because I am awesome and good looking. Let not say smart, intelligent-“

“I got it, you better shut up,” Jinyoung says standing up from the bed. He grabs his jacket from a chair and dresses it. “I am going out. I won’t find my soul mate standing on a bed when I am going to college.”

“I hope you will find your soul mate falling from a tree.” Jackson bits at Jinyoung.

The Korean native flips him the bird and leaves an amused Jackson on the bed.

Well, his life could be better than this but he is too lazy to follow Jinyoung out and party a bit. He will stay in his dorm and flip through some movies to make the time pass.

***

 

After the class was dismissed a lot of murmurs can he heard: complaining about the teacher, complaining about the projects and all the things Jackson could imagine in his years of life, which in his opinion aren’t that many. He is still young call himself an adult even if his parents already gave him that title.

He takes his backpack from where he threw it when he came into the class and makes his way out to enjoy a bit of silence and fresh air. The college becomes nosier and nosier, harder and harder and he needs a bit time to relax.

It’s funny how this is the second day of college and Jackson already feels it’s weight on his shoulders. With each class passing by a new teacher comes and a new style of teaching is introduced to him, which each class the teachers wants more and more from them until they don’t have what to request anymore.

Anyway, he is going to college to do what he always knew to do and later have a job. Maybe dancing is his first love and always will remain or maybe dancing was his way of expressing his feeling but all he knows is dancing and that is what he will do.

Putting his backpack under a tree on the green area on campus, he lies down and leans his head on it closing his eyes and letting the air blow in his face. It’s quite and relaxing like he was hoping to be. No teacher to blow in his ear the next project, no idiot student to make a comment about Korean teacher miniskirt.

He feels kind of lonely without any propose in life. Everyone around him seems to find their dream, even Jinyoung wants to become a famous singer. It’s hard to live in a word when people have expectation from you, but all you can do is follow the rules and trying to integrate into it.

His phone rings, bringing Jackson to life again. He takes it from his pocket and glared at Jinyoung name coming across his screen. “What?”

“Not in a good mood, my friend?” Jinyoung voice echoes from the other side with a hint of sarcastic tone.

“I am in the best mood a person can be, my friend,” Jackson replies, closing his eyes once again. People usually say to listen the other with closed eyes so you can hear the feelings in their voice, not that Jackson is interested in hearing Jinyoung soul.

“Anyway, no need to take your frustration on me,” Jinyoung says. “I just wanted to let you know that I am bringing a friend over tonight and I wanted to know if you are ok with it.”  
Jinyoung made a friend, already? That’s interesting since he is awkward around new people at first. “It’s ok, I don’t really care,” Jackson says, pressing his phone harder to his ear. “If they don’t get on my personal space.”

“Ok then, see you tonight.” Jackson hangs the phone and throws it at his side, looking into the distance to see what’s going on around him and how it comes that is quite at this hour.

Some meters away, a guy is sitting writing something on a white paper or maybe drawing.

Jackson’s eyes can’t leave the hand that is moving on the sheet like it’s a piece of cake to draw. Moving his eyes higher, he can see the boy’s plum and pink lips, full of love eyes and blonde hair, which the air is blowing. He looks angelic, like some sort of angel. Dressed in white and blue, with blonde hair and white milky skin, just the wings missing. 

Maybe he is a fallen angel, Jackson thoughts hitting his head on the tree. Wake up Wang, that kind of things doesn’t exist.

He looks up at the boy again, just to see him one last time before he can go and eat something because his stomach can’t hold the hunger anymore.

The boy has his eyes glued to Jackson, letting a little smile when the Hong Kong native meets his eyes. Jackson shakes his head, takes his backpack and phone and leaves, letting behind a smiling angel.

***

 

With his laptop in lap, Jackson scrolls through his Facebook, sometimes laughing at some funny posts. Like this are the first days, boring as hell until he realizes that has to catch up with the project and studies.

His room door opens, revealing Jinyoung and a boy following behind. “Hello, Jackson.” Jinyoung greets throwing his backpack on his bed. “This is Youngjae.”

“Hello.” The boy says, waving in Jackson’s direction.

“Hi,” Jackson says, letting his laptop in bed and stands up to shake hands with the new boy. “Nice to see a new face on campus and wish you good luck.”

“Thanks?” The boy looks at Jinyoung for help, being lost at Jackson’s words.

“Leave him alone.”

“What? I need to warn him about how great you are.” Jackson seats in his bed again, taking his laptop. “He is an interesting person, you’ll find out in time.”

“Cut the sarcasm, Jackson.” Jinyoung waves to Youngjae to take a seat on his bed. “Don’t mind him, he is a dick.”

“No problem, he seems cool,” Youngjae says, seating in Jinyoung’s bed.

“See, I am not the only one who thinks that.” Jackson closes his laptop and stands up. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

“It’s ok, you aren’t interrupting anything,” Jinyoung says, taking from the fridge a can of soda and gives it to Youngjae.

“Ah, so this isn’t that guy you were talking about the night before?” Jackson takes his jacket from his bed and puts it on.

“Sadly, he isn’t, but Youngjae is a nice person, you better treat him right.”

“Yah, I am right here,” Youngjae speaks up.

“See? I told you Jinyoung is a sweetheart.” Jackson says, closing the door after himself, leaving behind a glaring Jinyoung.

The night is beautiful, not so cold and not too hot, it’s just perfect for taking a walk or going drink something in a coffee shop, even if he had his friends with him here.

Sighing, Jackson left in search of a bench, just to sit and watch people walking around, he likes to study them and see how they react to different things.

He finds a nice park near the campus, the autumn leaves started to fall and the autumn flowers are in full bloom but in the night light, it can’t be seen so well.

He seats on a bench, near a dim light and makes himself comfortable with his phone in hands. He should call his parents and let them know that he is fine like he said he will do when he left home, but a guy on the bench across him caught his eyes.

The angel boy from before.

He looks fragile standing there looking lost at the stars above him. He wonders what a boy like him is doing there looking up. It’s nice to watch his thought.

The boy is looking at the starts and Jackson looking at the boy and the Hong Kong native wonders if the stars are watching at him as well. Like a circle without escape.

Jackson looks up to see what is so interesting about the stars but nothing that can make sense of him can be found, so he turns his head to look at the blonde guy again.

For Jackson’s amaze, the angel is looking at him but the moment he realized that he turned his head and looks away. Jackson is left confused at the sudden exchange of eyes, but he will never have the chance to ask the boy his name because the blonde head stands up, leaving Jackson there.  
***


	2. Chapter 2

“So, are you gonna stay there all class?” Jaebum chuckles as he makes his way toward where Jackson is seating on the floor, lost like a puppy or not caring about his surroundings.

The Hong Kong native runs his fingers through his hair and looks up at his new friend. “I am tired, stayed up all night watching movies.” That was kind of true. After a horror movie, he wanted to watch the next part and the next and his night went like that.

“You should have called me to keep you company.” Jaebum is getting flirty today and Jackson couldn’t miss it. Ah, Jaebum is a flirty after all.

Jackson pets the place beside him, inviting the other one to take a seat next to him. “Next time I’ll promise that I’ll call you up.” Two can play a game and after all, Jackson hasn't had any in a while and not why with Jaebum?

“If you’ll ask my number,” Jaebum says, practically telling Jackson to ask for it. Cute!

“Right,” Jackson takes his phone out and gives it to Jaebum. “But please, don’t write your name with hearts after.”

“I won’t,” Jaebum says putting his number on and calling himself to get Jackson’s number as well.

Jackson watches him closely, Jaebum giving him a feeling of playfulness. He practically knows that the other one doesn’t have any intention of dating and he is just for playing around, which is ok to Jackson, he doesn’t look for feeling attached just someone to spend time with.

“Don’t forget to call.” He winks and gives Jackson his phone back.

“I’ll do.”

Jaebum isn’t bad looking, he is handsome and seems smart with his priorities well definite. He can spend some quality time with the other without any feelings attached or so he hopes.

“So, the teacher will be late always?” Jaebum asks, taking a sip from his water bottle, trying to make all his movements as sexy as he can. “It’s not so professional.” Jackson can’t contain his laughter. What is Jaebum thinking? That Jackson never tried to hook someone on sleeping with him?

“I don’t really care. What I’ve seen from last time, she’s kind of boring.”

“I hope I didn’t take this class for nothing.”

Later the teacher came interrupting the boys talking about random things, like what they will eat at lunch and what they don’t like about the school. It was an easy conversation quickly falling into friendship, like two old friends that didn’t meet for a long time.

After the class, Jaebum said goodbye to Jackson and left for his next class, since dance wasn’t Jackson major.

“You are coming with us?” One of Jackson’s ‘new friends’ asks, which Jackson already forgot the name. They didn’t have any impact on him.

“Where are we going?” He isn’t in the mood to go anywhere; he would like to go and sit by the tree and watch the angel drawing. He finds it quite relaxing.

“Drink a coffee until our next class.”

“I’ll pass, next time thought,” Jackson says, taking his bag from the floor and waves at his group. Isn’t like he doesn’t want to fit in, but he prefers to watch the angel instead.

He has two hours to kill, so first stop is his dorm to change his clothes. The dorm is silent and the Hong Kong native knows that Jinyoung is out in classes or with Youngjae.

He changed, leaving behind a pile of clothes that he decided to pack up in the closet when he will come back tonight. Isn’t like he will have any guests tonight, well except Youngjae, he guesses.

When he arrived at the three, the angel was there concentrated on his drawing. He looks so calm, but Jackson knows that he shouldn’t judge the book by its covers. Always, the things aren’t what it seems to be.

He lies beside the tree and leans his head on it, closing his eyes to let himself relax. He is quite an active person; he likes to go out, have fun with his friends or do stupid things, but lately he finds himself wanting a bit of a peace of mind.

He opens his eyes and glances at the blonde boy seating some meters away from him moving his hand on the white sheet. The boy sends some peaceful vibration to Jackson, that’s why he likes to watch him. He doesn’t want to seem like a stalker, but he needs the peace right now.

The boy looks up at Jackson and The Hong Kong native couldn’t miss the small smile the other left when their eyes meet. Interesting…

Jackson’s phone noticed him that a message arrived and he breaks the eyes contact to check his phone. Jaebum messaged him a smiling emoticon and a ’hi’ after. He makes all too obvious.

Jackson sends back a ‘Hi’ as well and closes his phone, leaving it besides himself. He looks at the boy again but for his disappointment, the boy got back to his work. Doesn’t matter, Jackson likes to watch him drawing.

‘What are you doing tonight?’ The next message said making Jackson chuckle, leaving a smile behind.

‘Being lazy in my room.’ Jackson replies, waiting for Jaebum’s message. He could picture what will be the reply.

‘Let’s meet up. I’m treating you tonight a beer.’ Well, it wasn’t so obvious like Jackson thought initially but will do. Getting a good night can’t kill him.

‘Come to my room by eight tonight.’ Jackson sends back, standing up to leave and clean it a bit until his next class starts.

He takes his bag from where he left it on the grass and stands up, searching Jinyoung’s number on the phone. He has to announce him to find something better to do tonight than interrupt his little party with Jaebum.

Putting his phone at his ear, he looks one last time at the angel, who is standing on the grass drawing. He looks so fragile and angelic.

“What?” Is Jinyoung’s reply from the other line. What can you expect from your best friend?

“Nothing big just wanted to inform you that I am getting some tonight so you better not come,” Jackson says, making a stop to look back again. His eyes can’t leave the blonde boy there.

“Getting some?” Jinyoung laughs. “I guess I can make you this favor, but nothing gross on my bed.”

“Got it, see you tomorrow then.” Jackson hangs up the phone and runs toward his dorm to clean up.

***

 

“I bought beer and chips,” Jaebum says holding up a bag.

“Good idea,” Jackson says, opening the door wide to let Jaebum come in. “Try to ignore the little mess inside.”

“It’s ok, mine isn’t better.”

Jackson tried to clean up the place but without Jinyoung’s help, he couldn’t do too much. Yah, he pushed his clothes in the closed without taking the time to arrange it. He had picked up the dirty dishes from the table and bed, but he left it in the sink.

“So, where is your roommate?” Jaebum says, looking around bur finally decided to sit on the bed, like Jackson’s room is his home, which doesn’t bother Jackson at all.

“I don’t know, he won’t be here thought.” Jackson needs to say that, so Jaebum won’t leave.

He thought that this will be awkward, but it seems fine until now. Maybe because they are easy going persons.

“Who is this?” Jaebum picks up a photo from Jackson’s table to inspect it. “Are you into older women?”

“That’s my mother, you dick face,” Jackson says, snapping the picture from Jaebum’s hand and puts it back on the table. “Besides I don’t sing in that part if I didn’t make myself clear until now.”

“Oh, you made yourself quite clear until now,” Jaebum smirks tagging at Jackson’s hand and makes the Hong Kong native fall on top of him on the bed.

***

 

“So, how was last night?”Jinyoung asks, eating chips, splashed in his bed with a music book thrown aside.

“I am not gonna talk about it,” Jackson says, scrolling through his Facebook.

“That bad?”

“It wasn’t bad; I just don’t want to talk about it. Isn’t like I need to tell you how sex feels, so if you excuse me, I am not gonna open this subject with you.” Jackson can talk a lot of thinks with Jinyoung, but this is a subject that he will never talk about with anyone. That’s why is called private things.

“Fine! No need to be rude.” Jinyoung lies on his back, staring at the ceiling. “Who was the lucky one?”

“Some guy from my dance class,” Jackson replies wanting to finish this subject. It was, will never be again. “So, how is the progress with the stunning guy?”

“Ah, no progress there, told you that he has someone.” Jinyoung put a lot of chips in his mouth to stop the bitter taste of reality. When he finally found himself, someone who can take his breath, that someone has to be taken. Just his luck.

“Since when do you give a fuck that he has someone?” Jackson asks, throwing his phone aside and gets down from the bed, getting on Jinyoung’s bed.

“Since ever, I am not you.” Jinyoung makes space for Jackson to get comfortable on the bed and turns his head to look at his friend. “It’s so frustrating.”

“Well, my idiotic friend, I will never break a couple up so thank you very much for your credit.”

“I know you won’t do that.” Jinyoung sighs and turns on his back. “You have your self-respect as well.”

“Well, let’s say that I didn’t find anyone to gain my trust,” Jackson says, turning on his back as well. “Except you, but I won’t date you not even if you’ll be the last person on Earth.”

“I feel the love.”

The boys fell into a comfortable silence. It’s always like that with them. He will tease, joke around or make fun of each other, but his friendship won’t break. With then, even the silence is something special.

After some time off, silence Jinyoung turned his head to look at his friend. “If I start to like that person more than I should and I will want him all for myself, would that make me a bad guy?”

Jackson is surprised by Jinyoung’s question, so he takes his time to think. “I wouldn’t think about you as a bad guy, but other may think it. Everything is about if you care about others think about you or not.”

“I guess.” Jinyong sighs turning his vision to the ceiling again.

“Can I tell you something, but don’t make fun of me.” Jackson wants to light up the mood, so he decided to shear with his friend about his day.

“It depends on, any way you know I’ll make fun of you, no matter what is about.” Jinyoung smiles. That’s why he is friend with Jackson. Because the slight older understands him well and knows when to play the right cards to make him feel better.

“Today I went to check out a book at the library-“ Jackson says standing in his butt, crossing his legs underneath him. “I saw an announce about volunteering for the University Magazine.”

“Don’t tell me you signed up for that.” Jinyoung glares at his friend with an amused smile on his face.

“As a matter of fact, I did,” Jackson replies hitting his friend arm. “Don’t make that face. I need credits to pass the year.”

“I never thought that about you.” Jinyoung smiles proudly at his friend. “It’s a great idea. What section?”

“Whatever they want to give me, but I hope is something on computers because I don’t know how to write articles.”

***

 

It’s a sunny day compared to the time they are now. Autumn in LA has its picks. No rainy days and no cold.

He came outside to make his homework and maybe see his angel drawing but for his disappointment, the blonde head wasn’t there. What can Jackson expect? That the angel will be out here twenty-four from twenty-four hours?

He took his sociology book from his bag and put it wide open in front of him meanwhile he looks to see if he can catch a glance of the angel.

Sighing, he lies on his belly and starts to scroll through the book, sometimes taking notes about what he thinks is important for his next class.

His phone rings ten minutes after and he is happy that someone has interrupted his study session because the book becomes hell boring. “Yes?”

“What are you doing?” Jaebum voice echoes from the other side.

“Studying,” Jackson says glaring at his book. “I think I need someone to save me from all this shit.”

“I can’t right now but are you free this Saturday?”

Jackson is free but not sure if he is in the mood of seeing Jaebum again or going out somewhere. He prefers to be somewhere quite with his friends, which he haven’t seen in a while. “I don’t know, nothing planned, but I bet my best friend has something in the program for us.”

“Ah, well, if you change your mind, there is a party,” Jebum says but Jackson can’t really pay attention because his angel is making his way toward him, smiling brightly.

“Ok, gotta go.” Jackson hangs up the phone, not really caring that he is being rude. The boy he likes to watch is coming his way and apparently to talk to him or something because there is no one around here.

Indeed, the blonde guy stops in front of him, looking down at Jackson who is practically in shock. “Hi.”

Oh dear God, his voice is deep and seducing. Yah, Jackson should focus on the boy standing there not his sexy voice. “Hello.”

The boy takes a seat beside Jackson and extends his hand. “I am Mark.”

Jackson looks at the hand with curiosity but shakes it anyway. “Jackson.”

“Nice to meet you, Jackson.” The boy smiles holding close to his chest some papers or drawings Jackson may think. “I don’t want to sound like a stalker or something, but I noticed you here before.”

The Hong Kong native had noticed him as well, but that doesn’t mean stalker, right. “It’s ok. I’ve seen you too.”

“Like I said, not stalking just observing.” Mark nods his head like he needs an approval. “I liked the way you were standing here on the first day, so I tried to draw you. Like I said, not stalking.”

Jackson didn’t expect that. He practically made all sort of ideas why the guy wanted to talk to him, more around the lines, dating, knowing each other, fucking or anything else but nothing about drawing. “Ok?”

“-and I can’t draw you, so I want to ask you if you can give me a few minutes of the day to try to draw you again,” Mark says, looking down at his hands. “I’ll pay you.” He quickly adds. “I know that maybe you don’t need a job or anything but you are the second thing that I can’t draw and I want to try.”

This boy sure talks a lot. This Mark could have been a serial killer or drug dealer, but Jackson doesn’t really care to know how good looking is the other. “I could help you.”

“Really?” Mark looks surprised. He never thought that the guy will accept so easily.

“Yah, man. I don’t need money. I’ll be glad to help you out.” Jackson smiles. What can be the harm in it? Anyway, the boy gives him some peace of mind.

“Thank you, can we start tomorrow, here?”  
***


	3. Chapter 3

“And she was like fuck you, Jackson Wang,” Jackson says with his mouth full of food, while he tries to design a site on his computer. “I’ve never seen a teacher like her.”

“This is the most boring story that you told me ever,” Jinyoung says, playing Pixwords on his phone. “What the hell this picture wants to say?” He holds his phone in the air, so Jackson could take a look at it.

“I don’t know, water?” Jackson asks, turning his attention to his site. 

“I thought so too but it isn’t.” Jinyoung throws his phone away and goes to grab his cola bottle from the fridge.

“I can’t believe that you are playing that game.” Jackson murmurs pressing some keys on his laptop. “I thought you are more intelligent than that.”

“Intelligent is the game.” Jinyoung takes a gulp from the bottle and puts it back on the fridge shelf. “You can’t figure out the picture at all.”

“Let’s stop talking about the game because I am getting bored.” Jackson closes his laptop and puts it on the table beside his bed. “Anyway, we need to sleep.”’

“Since when are you an early sleeper?”

“Since I have morning classes.” He says, adjusting his pillow and throws his blanket over him. “By the way, I got on the University Editing team.”

“Congrats, you’ll need it, since you don’t know anything about editing and stuff.”

“Thank you very much for your compliment, now sleep, sleep.”

“Good night.” Jinyoung closes the light and gets on his bed.

***

Jackson adjusts his schoolbag as he runs toward the place where he should meet Mark, under the big tree. The teacher held them five minutes after the class ended, so he is kind of late. Yesterday when he agreed to help the angel, he forgot to ask his number.

He lets a little smile, seeing Mark under the tree concentrating on something on his sheet. He looks so beautiful there.

He shakes his head to make the thought go away and stops in front of him.

Mark looks up in surprise but eventually smiles, showing his perfect teeth. “You came.” Mark stands up and extends his hand to Jackson.

Jackson shakes Mark’s hand and feels like something inside him. It must be because he is hungry. He didn’t eat anything today. “Sorry, but here I am.”

“I am glad,” Mark says wanting to seat down. “We can start now, so I won’t keep your time.”

“Actually, can you draw into a coffee shop? I am hungry and my next class starts after our drawing session.” Jackson says, rubbing the back of his head. He doesn’t want to change Mark’s plans but his stomach feels weird inside and he needs to eat to calm it down.

“Yes, of course,” Mark says, grabbing his schoolbag from the grass and adjust it on his shoulder. “Where?”

“From what I have seen, there is a little comfy coffee shop around the corner.” Jackson starts in that way walking with Mark by his side.

“That shop is kind of comfy. I worked there last year on my free time.” Mark says, holding close his drawings to his chest and his bag on the shoulder.

“You did?” Jackson is kind of surprised. “Aren’t you in first year as well?”

“I’ll take that as a compliment but no, I am in my second year.” Mark offers, smiling. “Usually people tend to think that I am younger.”

“You look younger.” Jackson laughs in embarrassment. “Well, I suppose that will be good when you’ll get older.”

Mark starts to laugh, that kind of laugh that Jackson never heard before. It’s full of life like the older haven’t laughed so much in his life.

“I guess you are right,” Mark says, pushing open the coffee shop door. “We can stay by the window, it’s better to light and I can see the shadows well.”

“You are the artist here,” Jackson says, taking a seat on a table by the window. “I don’t really know how it works.”

“I’ll get us something.” Mark says standing up.”

“Wait, I was the one who wanted to come here, it’s on me.” Jackson stands as well. That will be awkward to let Mark buy him food or drinks.

“I was the one who wanted your help in the first place,” Mark says back, letting Jackson without words. “It will be as payment for stealing your time.”

“I-“ Jackson doesn’t really know what to say. “Next time is on me.”

“So, what do you want?”

“Dark coffee and a muffin.”

“Ok.”” Mark says, leaving Jackson at the table. He watches Mark leave and seats back own again. His eyes are caught by Mark’s drawings lying on the table. He shouldn’t watch but his curiosity got the best from him.

The drawing is impressive. There are things that Jackson couldn’t imagine that could be drawn. Who in the world can make a pen look so fantastic on a sheet of paper? Apparently Mark.

“That was the pen that led me into this world of painting,” Mark says, taking a seat at the table. “Our order will come soon, Bambam is kind of slow this morning.”

“You just said Bambam? Like that cartoon?” Jackson raises an eyebrow, pushing back in front of Mark the drawings.

“His name is hard to pronounce, I can’t say it, so I am calling him Bambam,” Mark says taking a white sheet and some pencils from his bag. “You can move or whatever, I can draw.”

“You told me yesterday that I am the second thing that you couldn’t draw, right?” Jackson asks, looking at how Mark’s hand moves on the sheet. He guesses that the older got to his job.

“That’s right. You intrigue me.”

“I’ll take that as a good thing.” Jackson jokes while a cut boy puts two drinks and a muffin on heir table.

“Thank you Bambam,” Mark says, smiling up at the boy.

“Don’t mention. If you need anything else, you can call me.” 

“Ok,” Mark says looking at Jackson.

Jackson, on the other hand, looks kind of scared. Mark looks at him with intensity, making him feel a bit uncomfortable. Well, maybe like this the artists are working. He isn’t sure since he can’t even draw a straight line without the help of his computer.

“So, what is the other thing you can’t draw?” Jackson asks, trying to pass over the uncomfortable stares.

“I can’t draw love,” Mark says, stopping his movements to look at the younger. “Many people tend to say that red means love, or drawing a heart to as a symbol of love.”

“So, isn’t that true?” Jackson asks. From his experience, he can say that girls draw heart over boys names or things like that.

“Of course is true. I mean we need to find something to get close to the feeling of love but maybe for other of us love is orange or blue. Not everyone thinks the same, so to draw feelings it’s kind of hard. I don’t know anyone who did it fully.”

Jackson is last of words. He can’t form anything at the moment. This guy looks like he thought a lot about it. 

He takes a sip of his black coffee and looks at Mark. How his eyes are focused on the sheet, how his lips are pressed together and how sometimes he blows the hair that falls into his eyes. Here is he again, that creepy feeling in his stomach. Time to eat the muffin; he must be very hungry after all.

“God, why are you so hard to draw?” Mark asks, ripping the sheet. “I do everything right, but when I’m trying to put all your features together is messed up.” He picks a new sheet and stares at Jackson again.

“Well, I can say that my mom did a great job.” He chuckles to make the nervousness go away. Mark’s stare is so intimidating. 

“Well, I think I am the only one who can’t draw you,” Mark says, looking down at his sheet and an instant his hand starts to move on the sheet again.

“If that makes you feel better, I can’t draw a straight line.”

“Well, I am talking about the ones who are in the art department,” Mark says, looking back at Jackson. He sticks his tongue out and lets a sharp breath. “Even the shadows are right, why, why, why?”

Jackson smiles at the older cuteness and takes a bite from his muffin. “You’ll get me right one day.”

“I hope so.”

***

“Are we going out tonight?” Jinyoung asks, bouncing up and down on his bed. “It’s Saturday and far away from home.”

“I can’t, I have to write an article about the dance department for the Magazine,” Jackson says, putting in his mouth some popcorn that Jinyoung bought him this morning.

“Can’t you do that other time” Jinyoung pout.

“Sorry, I am busy.” He really is. The classes take like all his time, the practice and the time spent with Mark doesn’t leave time for funny things on Saturday. “But tomorrow we can go out bowling or whatever you want.” 

“I am holding that against you.” Jinyoung points at him. “I’ll call Youngjae to watch a movie.”

“Are you sure you aren’t dating him?” Jackson raises an eyebrow. “All I hear is Youngjae that, Youngjae this.”

“Yes, I am pretty sure, we are friends since you abandoned me.”

“I didn’t abandon you, I am busy, that’s all.” Jackson defends himself, getting out from the bed to get some water. “Don’t lean him on.”

“He has a girlfriend, Jackson,” Jinyoung says taking out his phone to text Youngjae. 

“Well, I am just saying, that’s all.” Jackson puts the bottle of water back in the fridge and takes his jacket. “I’m going to take a walk, do you need anything?”

“No thanks”

***

After a short walk and a stop at the shop, Jackson makes his way back to his dorm. He bought some supplies for tonight. He will be awake like all night because of he never in his life he has written an article.

Pushing open his door, he isn’t surprised to see Youngjae on Jinyoung’s bed. “Evening.” Jackson greets putting his bag on a table.

“Hello, Jackson.” The younger says.

“Where is Jinyoung?”

“He is talking on the phone with his crush.”

Jackson takes a turn to look at Youngjae. “As in the stunning, amazing singer from his class?”

“Yes.”

“Didn’t have he a boyfriend or something?” Because this is what Jackson remembers from what Jinyoung told him, or maybe saying complaining about. 

“I don’t really know,” Youngjae says, standing there all awkward with Jackson.

“Jinyoung has some explanations to do.”

After five minutes spent in awkward silence, Jinyoung came into the room frowning. “Jackson, you are back.”

“Yes, I am,” Jackson says meanwhile he types something on his laptop.

“And you put yourself at work already.” Jinyoung notices as he takes a seat on his bed.

“And I’ll take a break now.” Jackson pushes the laptop aside and seats to look at his best friend. “Since when are you talking with the stunning guy?”

Jinyoung looks at Youngjae then back at his best friend. “Since today. I don’t know” He rubs the back of his head. “He asked my number today and tonight he called me, that’s all.”

“Oh, he has an interest in you.” Jackson smiles. “But isn’t he dating already?”

“I don’t know. I thought he is dating since I saw him with someone.” Jinyoung takes a little pillow from his bed and hugs it close to his chest. “He called me if I want to go to a party with him.”

“So, what are you waiting for?”

“I called Youngjae here, I am not gonna leave him with you.”

“That’s ok. You can go out with him.” Youngjae says, suddenly talking. “I won’t get mad.”

“I already told him no, maybe next time,” Jinyoung says, getting up from the bed. “So, I’ll make some pasta, who wants?”

“You are a life savior,” Jackson says, taking his laptop again. 

“I’ll help you,” Youngjae says, jumping up from the bed as well.


	4. Chapter 4

“Guess what I have here,” Jinyoung shouts coming into his and Jackson’s room waving a magazine in hand. He looks happy and has a smile from ear to ear.

Jackson raises his head from the pile of books he was studying, or better saying pretending to study, and glances at his friend. “Finally, you are proving that you lost your virginity.” He really likes to tease his best friend about it.

“You are a dick, Jackson Wang,” Jinyoung says, throwing the magazine at Jackson. “I was coming here to let you know how proud I am of you and you are talking shit to me.”

“You bought the magazine?” Jackson asks, opening to take a look. He never intended to buy it. “There is a cartoon band as well? I like it.” Usually, it always has a deep meaning that kind of things, something to learn from it. “I can’t believe.”

“What?” Jinyoung asks as Jackson makes his eyes wide.

There on the comic page is drawn his and Mark’s conversation from some days ago about drawing love. He couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face. Mark works at the magazine as well because other explication there couldn’t be. Well, except that Mark maybe told someone else about it but one of the little men on it looks like Mark, the other one doesn’t look like Jackson. “He really can’t draw me.”

Since he started to hang out with Mark on their drawing sessions, he started to like even more the guy. He looks like is working hard and giving everything in what he does. Jackson had noticed at how Mark laugh at everything like he needs a bit brightest in his life.

“What?” Jinyoung asks raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing, nothing,” Jackson says, closing the magazine without looking over his article. “Thank you for buying it.”

“What are friends for,” Jinyoung says jumping in Jackson’s bed and puts an arm over his shoulder. “We are going celebrate your first article and you can’t say no.”

“Fine,” Jackson says. “Let’s go bowling for an hour because we have classes tomorrow. I don’t want to keep you awake more than necessary.”

“You sound strange man.” Jinyoung laughs as Jackson raises an eyebrow.

“Now.”

“Yes, queen.” Jinyoung laughs standing up. “Bowling than.”

“Anyway on the weekend I have to visit some publishing agencies.”  
***

 

“Jackson, my dear friend,” Jinyoung says pouting and Jackson know that Jinyoung wants something. “Someone called and I need to go.”

“I am not holding it against you because it’s the hot guy,” Jackson says, taking off his bowling shoes. “You need to get laid and stop waiting for the perfect person.”

“You never will find love.” The other says, going to return the shoes, followed by his friend. “Your mind runs around sex, stop thinking with your dick and start to think with your heart.” He smiles at the lady with shoes and gazes at his friend.

“I like to think with my brain. “ Jackson returns the shoes and takes his belonging. “I guess, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Of course not. I agreed to take a walk with him, not fuck with him so expect me early.”

“You don’t know how to have fun.” Jackson waves goodbye to his friend and takes into the campus direction.

His mind keeps remind him about his and Mark’s conversation. Mark can’t draw love and he can’t draw him as well. What this all means?

He has to call his mother and ask her, she always gives the best advice and solves all his problems. Not that this is a problem. He just can’t connect the right dots right now. That’s all. He is missing something and can’t point out what it is.

Mark just gives him some peace of mind, standing there all angelic.

He needs a good sleep and tomorrow all this thought will go away. Always goes like that. If not, mom is the solution.

In the distance, he can see silhouettes, fighting? He isn’t sure. Maybe they are having sex in the middle of the ally. That will be strange, so he will go with the first version.

Jackson doesn’t want to be caught in all this, so he takes a turn and goes the other way. What does he care anyway? He doesn’t want to get involved with police ever again since that thing happened. It’s cold on the other side.

Jackson sighs, he can’t just go the other way. He can’t let a poor soul take a good beat because the other one was in his way. Sighing he turns around again and makes to help the one in need. He hopes he won’t regret it.

As he approaches the boys because girls won’t be able to do that especially emitting that sounds, he takes a deep breath.

“Is not my fault that you can’t take care of your boyfriend.” The one underneath says, throwing some punches on the ribs of the other meanwhile the other is throwing punches randomly.

“Shut the fuck up.” The other says, trying to break free from the other’s hold on his hair. Jackson knows that voice very well. Mark.  
It can’t be.

“Mark,” He shouts, not waiting to see more of the scene. “You’ll kill him.” Jackson grabs Mark from the middle and detaches the older from the other guy, which is a hard work since Mark is determinate to hit the other one.

“Leave me alone. I am gonna kill him.” Mark tries to get free from the hold, but Jackson keeps him in place. Mark doesn’t look like an angel anymore. More like a fallen angel fighting for his wings. He doesn’t look like the fragile person he thought the older is. Jackson judges the book by its covers.

“Keep your crazy friend away from me next time.” The other says wiping the blood from his mouth. “Isn’t my fault that he can’t give his boyfriend what he wants.”

Jackson looks from the boy at Mark and back at the other one. He won’t get involved in this, but he has to keep Mark away. “I don’t know what this is all about, but you better piss off before I will let him hit you again.”

He watches as the other one turns around and leaves.

Slowly he loses his hold on Mark and takes a few steps back to look better at Mark. The older has a broken lip and his hair looks like had been pulled at. “Are you ok?” Where had the fragile Mark gone?

Mark looks into space and in an instant, his eyes get wet and tears are falling from them. He lets himself fall on the ground and hugs his knees close to his chest. “It’s all my fault.”

Jackson rushes at his side and hugs him from behind. “It’s ok. Let’s get you clean up and you can tell me all about it.”  
***

 

“Here is the bathroom, clean up,” Jackson says, pushing open the door and let Mark pass by him. “I’ll wait here for you.”

“Thank you.” The older says, smiling warmly.

Jackson closes the door after and leans on the wall beside it.

In all this time, he had known Mark, a week, he never thought that he can hit someone. Jackson makes a mental note to never provoke Mark. Who knows what he can do. It’s almost comical to imagine Mark hitting someone. The older looks fragile and calm, opposite from what he looked this night. What would have happened if Jackson would have walked away? Maybe Mark will have ended in jail or worse.

He wakes up from his thought when Mark opens the door. His face is clean but a bruise is forming on his lip and his hair is messy like he had run his fingers through it all this time.

“Are you ok?” Jackson asks, detaching himself from the wall to watch Mark better. “Do you need any ice?”

“Yes, thanks,” Mark says, standing there all awkward. Right, he never came to Jackson dorm before.

“There is my bed-“ Jackson point toward it “- sit there.” He takes some ice from the fridge and wraps it in a little towel. “If you need to talk about it, I’ll be here listening.”

“Ok,” Mark whispers hissing a bit when Jackson puts the ice on his lip. “I’ll hold it.”

Jackson can feel electricity running through his arm when Mark touched his hand while holding the towel but he blamed all it on the cold ice. He hated all cold things. When is hot is better. “Do you need anything to drink?” he tries to sound calm.

“No, thank you,” Mark says, looking around for his bag, but he eyes lands on the magazine on Jackson’s bed. “You bought the University Magazine?”

“My friend bought it,” Jackson says picking up the magazine. “I found something interesting, though.” He refers to the comic page.

“If offended you, I’ll never do that again,” Mark says quickly, followed by Jackson’s chuckle.

“You really can’t draw me.” Jackson laughs a bit louder now. “I look like a cucumber.”

“Shut up. Isn’t that bad.” Mark says, starting to laugh as well. Jackson’s laugh is contagious.

“Now being serious. I wrote an article as well that’s why my friend bought it.” Jackson says, waving the page with his article. “About dance department.”

“You are in dance department?” Mark asks, his face getting sadder a bit. Jackson couldn’t miss the way Mark’s eyes has a glimpse of sadness in them and how his lips caught a pouting form.

“I am, do you want to dance as well?” Maybe that is why Mark got sad. He could teach the older some moves.

“No, no. My boyfriend takes some dance classes with the dance department.” Mark says raising his head to look at Jackson. Of course, the angel has a boyfriend. Who can pass the chance to have him?

“What’s his name?” Jackson asks, taking a can of soda from the fridge. “Maybe I know him.”

“His name is Jaebum,” Mark says, smiling a bit. “Do you know him?”

What? Jackson’s life is playing tricks on him. He didn’t hear right. Maybe there is another Jaebum. They can’t talk about the same.

“Jackson?”

“What?” Jackson asks maybe a bit too suspicious. “I never heard this name before.” He lies. How can he tell Mark that he screwed with Jaebum? That his boyfriend cheated on him? That will be too cruel. Should he let Mark live a lie?

“Ok.”

“Right, early. The boy you bit up said something about your boyfriend.” Jackson says. The curiosity gets the best of him, so he needs to ask.

“Ah, that,” Mark says, playing with his fingers. His face gets redder and his eyes start to water.

“It’s ok. You don’t have to tell me anything.” Jackson sits on his bed and wraps an arm around Mark’s shoulder.

“It’s not that but just thinking about it makes me sad,” Mark says, wiping his eyes with the back of his palm. Jackson’s heart breaks a bit at seeing Mark this way. He has this feeling to protect him and cocoon him and never let him go. That is strange, but he can’t help the feeling that he gets.

“I won’t judge,” Jackson says. “I just guess your boyfriend is a dick.” He knows it too well. Jaebum is a bastard who likes to keep Mark as a trophy and fuck around with strangers.

“We-“ Mark starts taking a deep breath. “I don’t know how to say it. We are in an open relationship and I am not ok with this.” He lets the tears fall, still playing with his fingers.

“Tell him that,” Jackson says, holding Mark even closer to him.

“I can’t. He will leave me.”

Well, that isn’t something that he expected to hear from the older. Jaebum doesn’t deserve him. Heck, not even Jackson deserves him. “Then he doesn’t love you enough.”

“No, no. He loves me. I know that.” Mark says, jumping up from the bed. “I know he does.”

Jackson looks up at Mark not really understanding Mark’s way of thinking. It’s too obvious that Jaebum doesn’t give a fuck about him.

“I need to go,” Mark says picking up his bag from the floor. “Thank you for what you did for me tonight.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow at our drawing session,” Jackson says following Mark to the door. “Take care.”

“Good night, Jackson.”

Jackson closes the door and jumps in his bed. Mark is holding into something that doesn’t exist anymore but why? He will find out and help Mark. He has this urge to protect the older. It’s a new feeling for him, but he has nothing to lose.

At least he will do something for Mark as sorry for fucking with his boyfriend.


	5. Chapter 5

Jackson can’t contain his smile when he sees Mark seating by the tree drawing. Since last night, he has this urge to make the older happy. First of all, because he likes Mark’s smile, the second he feels sorry for fucking with his boyfriend even if they are in a weird relationship. He can’t decide if an open relationship is a relationship at all.

He sticks behind the tree to scare the older for the sake of it, but his eyes are caught by the draw. Mark is such a child.

“Do you really draw that?” Jackson asks giving up at scaring Mark. He is too fascinated by the Winnie the Pooh.

“Yes, do you like it.?” Mark asks smiling wide at Jackson. “I can let you color it.”

“Pff, like I want to color it.” Jackson waves in dismiss as he seats beside the older, enough to touch his shoulder and electricity to run through it. It’s cold outside, that’s all.   
Nothing weird about this. “Do you have colors?”

“At my dorm, yes I have,” Mark says pushing in a folder his draw with Winnie and takes a new file. “I’ll give it to you later.”

“About later, do you know what I noticed?” The Hong Kong native asks, raising an eyebrow.

“What?”

“I don’t have your cellphone number.” He wanted to text Mark last night to ask him if he gets home ok but noticed that he never exchanged numbers with him. That is strange because the first thing that Jackson does is find out the other person’s number.

“And I bet you can’t live without it.” Mark jokes taking off his phone and hands it to Jackson. “Here, put your number and I’ll call you.”

“So, how is your lip?” Jackson asks while unlocking Mark’s phone, which doesn’t have a passcode.

“It’s fine, in two days it will go away,” Mark says, playing with his fingers in embarrassment. “I am sorry that you had to see me like that.”

Jackson looks up from Mark’s phone, which has as his screen a snow flower, at the boy beside him. “It’s ok, everyone has those moments. Happens to me sometimes as well.” He made that mistake of losing himself but never again will do that. That’s something that he left behind.

“Ok, let’s forget it then,” Mark says letting a little laugh and turns to look at Jackson. “Can you take my place so the light will hit your right side?”

Jackson puts his number on and nods giving the older his phone back. “Whatever you want, you are the one with skills.”

“I wouldn’t say that, the one who can draw better.” Mark chuckles as he and Jackson exchange places.

“Yah, true but you made me look like a cucumber,” Jackson says taking his position. “It’s ok here?”

“Yes. Thank you for letting me do this.” Mark says getting in his mood of drawing.

Jackson can see when Mark switches from Mark to the artistic Mark, as he likes to call the older. He got accustomed with Mark’s eyes on him. He doesn’t get embarrassed anymore nor does he feel like wanting to hide his face.

“So, Markie Pooh, what would you do tonight?” Jackson asks looking at Mark who has the tip of his tongue stick out. The older is funny when he concentrates.

“Nothing much, probably studying,” Mark answers erasing with his gum something on the sheet. “Even though I hate to do that.”

“Then let’s hung out on my dorm, meet my dumb best friend and watch a movie,” Jackson says, his mind already seeing how the night will go. “What do you say?”

“I’ll call you,” Mark replies looking intense at Jackson.

“Yah, I feel like you are lying to me.” Jackson laughs. “Like we spent a night together and now it’s the big day after telling me that you’ll call back when you never intend on doing so.”

“You have a big imagination, but this isn’t the case,” Mark says smiling warmly at the older. “I might do something with Jaebum tonight, so yeah.”

“I understand,” Jackson says even though he feels like something stabbed him in the heart. This feeling again. He can’t point the finger on what is this. He has to call his mom as soon as possible.

***

 

“So, what you did last night with lover boy?” Jackson asks checking Mark’s number on his phone. Yes, is still there.

“Walking and talking and maybe a goodbye kiss,” Jinyoung says, putting a shirt on.

“Ah, no invitation to his house?”

“No, Jackson. He didn’t mention it and isn’t like I would have gone.” The other one says, putting some perfume on and a jacket.

“Ah, so he really broke up with the person you mentioned before and he is looking for a new relationship. You are a lucky bastard.” Jackson laughs. Jinyoung here the eternal virgin and finding love before Jackson. Like if a bitch but apparently life recompense you if you keep your purity until marriage.

“I guess I am lucky,” Jinyoung says looking to see if he has everything prepared to go out.

Jackson opens Hero Farms on his phone when it started to ring showing Mark’s phone on. He started to smile at seeing it but got serious when he brings the phone to his ear. “Hello, Markie Pooh.”

“Why you are calling me that?” Jackson can see Mark pouting over the phone.

“Mark and Winnie the Pooh.” Jackson chuckles as Jinyoung looks suspicious at him. Jackson waves his goodbye and pays attention at Mark again.

“Well, I kindly ask you to never call me like that.”

“Too late, you are my Markie Pooh now.” Jackson looks as Jinyoung closing the door behind him and lets his smile grow wider.

“Whatever, you can call me a cucumber and see if I care,” Mark says. “I called to see if your invitation is still standing.”

Jackson’s smile gets bigger if it’s possible and his heart starts to beat faster. Stupid feeling. It sure has to do with Mark. At least he figured out something. “Yes, of course. I’ll send you my address into a message.”

“I know your address, you dumb.” Mark laugh making Jackson’s heart jump a bit.

“Anyway, I’ll send it to you.” Just to make sure that you remember my address, Jackson thought but didn’t say that out loud.

“Ok, I’ll wait,” Mark says hugging up the phone.

Not wanting to look to anger he waited a minute to send Mark the message.

Crap. He jumps out of the bed and starts to put his clothes back on the closet and wash the ditches. At least the place will look a bit presentable if Mark is coming.

Maybe last night wasn’t that clean but he doesn’t think the older noticed with all that happened to him. He feels sorry for Mark. He doesn’t deserve that, Jaebum can’t treat him like that.

Jackson puts his palm over his chest and sighs. Damn feeling, go away already.

After a good ten minutes, a soft knock can be heard at Jackson’s door.

He takes a deep breath and goes to open the door, the beating of his heart accelerating with every minute. He has to call his mom or make a doctor appointment because this can’t continue like this.

“Hi.” Mark greets Jackson with a wide smile.

“Hey, come in.” Jackson steps outside to let Mark pass by, checking the older from head to toe. He looks nice, like always.

He really wanted to ask Mark if Jaebum bailed on him but of course, he did. That’s why Mark is here. That is stupid, but Jackson feels a bit jealous of how loyal Mark is to Jaebum and the other treats him with indifference. Eventually, he doesn’t ask because he doesn’t want to see the older sad nor he wants to cut Mark’s wound even deeper than already is.

“I bought popcorn since you said we’ll watch movies,” Mark says, waving a bag. “I hope you like salt flavor.”

“Salt isn’t even a flavor.” Jackson laughs taking Mark’s bag and places it somewhere on a table beside his bed.

“Whatever, smart ass.”

“Make yourself comfortable on my bed,” Jackson says opening the fridge “- but not so comfortable because it’s my bed.” He takes out two sodas and hands one to Mark.

“Thanks.” The other replies taking a seat on Jackson’s bed. “By the way, I have something for you.” Mark lets the soda beside him on the bed and grabs his bag. He looks through it as Jackson studies every little detail of Mark’s features. His concentrated face that makes him laugh, Mark looks concentrate even when he looks for something in his bag. “Here we go.” Mark extends a notebook for Jackson to take it.

Jackson frowns but takes the notebook anyway. He opens it slowly and sees there a draw of a tree. “What is it?

“And this is for you as well.” Mark extends a full hand of colors. “Somewhere there should be Winnie the Pooh as well.”

“I can’t believe it,” Jackson says closing the notebook. “You really don’t forget things.” He laughs wanting to hug the other, but he doesn’t do that because that will look strange and awkward. 

“You can color how you want,” Mark says looking at Jackson, who sat beside him. “I mean you can color on your mood. You can make the tree purple if you want. Create your own world.”

Jackson’s eyes go from Mark’s eyes to his lips feeling the urge to close the little gaps that are between them, but he needs to hold it back because he is Mark, the guy he wants to protect. The guy who already has a dumbass boyfriend and he don't want to complicate his life more than necessary.

He clears his voice and looks on the other side. “Thank you, it means a lot,” Jackson says standing up. “I am going to put the popcorn in microwave meanwhile you can look for a movie on my laptop.”

“Can it be horror?” Mark asks taking Jackson’s laptop from his bed.

“I love horror.” The other replies taking the popcorn Mark gave him and starts to unwrap it. “It gives me a great feeling.”

“Hmmm.” Mark hums.

“Even though I can’t believe that Markie Pooh is watching that kind of movies.”

“Mark, thank you very much,” Mark says, looking at how Jackson leans on a table waiting for the popcorn to be ready. “And why don’t I look like someone who would like horror.”

“I don’t know. For me, you don’t look like someone who can hit someone but you proved me wrong.” Jackson says.

“Don’t judge a book by its covers,” Mark says smiling brightly. “I found the perfect movie.”

***

 

“Don’t open the door,” Jackson shouts while gripping Mark’s hand. “Don’t you dare open it.” And suddenly the dorm’s door opens making both of boys jump in surprise.

“What happens in here?” Jinyoung’s voice echoes over the silent room as the girl from the movie screams for her life. Awkward.

“Jinyoung, you bastard don’t you dare so that again,” Jackson shouts putting a stop to the movie as Jinyoung opens the light.

“Sorry, I was intre-“ He stops when his eyes land on Mark, sitting there on the bed still shaking from the scare.

Jackson looks at Mark and stands up, letting go of the older hand. “Right. Jinyoung this is Mark. Mark this is my roommate Jinyoung.”

“Hi,” Mark says, extending his hand. “I’m Mark, nice to meet you.”

Jackson looks a bit shocked but takes Mark’s hand anyway. “Nice to meet you too.”

“So, weren’t you out or something with the lover boy?” Jackson asks, trying to break the awkwardness that is in the room.

“I was, he went home and I came back not knowing that we have guests.” Jinyoung takes off his jacket and places it on a nearby chair.

“Sorry that I forgot to tell you,” Jackson says. “By the way. He will be sleeping here tonight, it’s late to let him go home at this hour.”

“Am I?” Mark asks a bit surprised. “When did I say that?”

“You didn’t, I did.” Jackson laughs looking at Mark’s face softening a bit. “If you want to go home I won’t keep you here.”

“I could stay,” Mark says smiling. “Thank you, but if is ok with your roommate.”

“It’s ok, you can stay here,” Jinyoung says taking his pajamas and disappearing in the bathroom.

“He doesn’t like me that much,” Mark says looking a bit worried.

“He is a bit awkward when he meets new people, but he will like you when he will know you better,” Jackson says getting back on the bed beside Mark. “Let’s finish the movie, Jinyoung will join us soon, he likes horror movies as well.”

“Ok,” Mark says, getting back his attention to the laptop.


	6. Chapter 6

Jackson feels something warm around him, something that is there and shouldn’t be. Probably it’s something that he dreamed about and can’t remember. Slowly, he opens his eyes just to see a blonde head snoring softly on his chest. What the…?

Mark has his head on Jackson’s chest and his arm thrown over Jackson’s torso. Why does it feel so hot suddenly? When Mark’s around, Jackson starts to feel things that he never felt before. Definitely, he will call his mom when he’ll get the time.

Slowly he turns to check out his phone and the time reads five and thirty. Mark’s hold on his gets tighter as he presses harder on Jackson.

Officially, Jackson has a crush on Mark or something. His heart’s beats increase with every second and he can feel sweat flow down his forehead. That’s what people calls crush, right?

He turns to take a better look at the older face. Mark has a pleasant smile on his face and looks like a child on Christmas day. It’s always peaceful to watch Mark; Jackson always liked to do so. Now, having Mark there in his arms, he feels at ease, making him forget the past and look forward to the future.

“Jaebum.” Mark murmurs in his sleep waking Jackson’s up. That name makes Jackson’s blood run wild. The crude reality is coming crashing Jackson’s daydreams.

He sighs and detaches himself from Mark. The reality is a bitch.

“Jackson?” Mark's voice echoes stopping the younger movements. “What time is it?”

Slowly, Jackson turns to see Mark rubbing at his eyes, like a little kitten. He is so adorable and he is not his. Since when do these troughs bounce at his mind? “It’s five thirty, get back to sleep.”

“I think I should go.” Mark rises from the bed and looks at Jackson with a small smile. “Thank you for letting me stay here for the night and borrowing me your pajamas.”

“It’s ok, you can use the bathroom if you want,” Jackson says, making himself busy with his phone.

***

 

“So, since when are you friends with Mark?” Jinyoung asks, eating his cereals and watching Tom and Jerry on TV.

“I don’t know, almost two weeks,” Jackson replies, taking off his shirt. “Why?”

“Just asking. He was the boy I was talking about.”

Jackson turns around and looks questioning at Jinyoung. “The boy you were talking about?”

“Ex-boyfriend of my crush, if I can say so.”

“What do you mean?” Please, don’t say what I think you mean because my life can’t get any wrong than already is.

“You know, the guy I started to see,” Jinyoung says, letting his spoon fall into the bowl of cereals and milk. “Mark is the guy I’ve seen him with at the beginning of the year.”

Fuck. “What? You mean Mark is-“

“Yes, Jaebum’s ex-boyfriend. That’s the name of the guy.” Jinyoung says smiling. “I was just curious how you’ve met Mark.”

Can this become even more twisted than this? Jackson doesn’t think so. What can he do now? He trusts Jinyoung, so should he tell the truth or let Jaebum play with both of them?

“You can’t see this Jaebum any longer.” Jackson decided to say. He needs to make Jinyoung gave up. Jaebum is a crush for him, but Mark is the love of his life. But then again, Jinyoung is his best friend meanwhile Mark is just a guy who he just met.

“What do you mean that I can’t see him anymore?”

“Mark didn’t break up with Jaebum, the guy is telling you lies.” This is the safe plan. Make Jinyoung see who Jaebum really is. He won’t let Jinyoung fall anymore for that douched. He loves his best friend too much to let him date an idiot again. Not after that happened last time. Jinyoung needs to be happy and Jaebum isn’t the right person.

“What are you talking about?”

“Mark was sad last night that he couldn’t see Jaebum because he went out to work on a project.” Jackson lies a bit. Actually, he was afraid to ask Mark where Jaebum is. “And I guess you were the damn project.”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Jinyoung jumps up from the bed, his breakfast long forgotten.

“You have to believe me, I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“I don’t care. Maybe he hadn’t had the chance to break you with Mark. He will do that before our relationship will start.” Jinyoung says, waving his hands like a madman.

“Do you even listen to what I am saying? You can’t break them up. You can’t do that.” Jackson says trying to rationalize with his friend. “You aren’t like that.”

“I want to be happy and I don’t care if I break them up,” Jinyoung says, his eyes spitting fire.

“But think of Mark, he will hate you for this.”

“Why do I care? I don’t care. I just barely met the guy. He is nothing to me.”” Jinyoung says, glaring. “If you care so much about him then go and run to him and leave me the heck alone to be happy for one in my life.”

“But-“ Jackson starts to say but he didn’t finish his sentence when Jinyoung enters the bathroom and shuts the door after him.

Jackson seats on his bed and takes a deep breathe. What can he do to make it all better? He can’t tell anyone that he slept with Jaebum. Jinyoung will hate him even more and that will break Mark’s heart into little pieces. He can’t see anyone of his friends hating on him. That will be too painful. What would he do then? Damn Jaebum.

He needs to do something and he needs to do it soon.

If he will punch Jaebum right now if he sees him even if he swore to never hit anyone on his life.

***

 

“What’s so urgent?” Jaebum asks, taking a seat beside Jackson.

This is the only solution he can see right now. “Why didn’t you tell me that you have someone when you slept with me?”

“How do you know?” Jaebum doesn’t seem to be taken aback by this. He seems really calm.

“This doesn’t matter right now. Look, I don’t like to be the one who breaks up you two or something around that.”

“Stay calm, nothing like that will happen. Mark is cool with that.” Jaebum says, a bit bored of this conversation, “Mark is his name if you wonder.”

“Are you sure he is cool with that?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I don’t want to be hit by someone.” Jackson lies. He has to make Jaebum see that he should stay with Mark and Mark only. How? He doesn’t know yet, he just hopes.

“Your pretty face wouldn’t be hit by anyone, so chill.”

“I was just making sure,” Jackson says, not sure what he should say next. “So, how comes that you sleep with people and he is cool with that?”

“Ever heard of open relationships?” Jaebum asks, a smirk clear on his face. “It’s just like that.”

“How comes that an open relationship is a relationship at all?” He sounds too eager to find things out, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wants to know everything.

“What are you? Dr. Love?”

“I am curious how this works, that is all. You don’t have to answer if want.” Jackson tries to play it cool, but his inside is full of anger. Jaebum wants to be in an open relationship with Jinyoung as well?

“Look, Mark doesn’t love me. He thinks he does, that’s why I am playing the open relationship. He needs to see that he doesn’t love me.” Jaebum says running his fingers through his hair.

Well, that wasn't what Jackson expected to hear. That is far from what Jackson wanted to hear. Now, Jaebum looks a bit sad and troubled. “Oh.”

“I don’t know why I am telling you this, but he is different. He is fragile and I don’t know how to make him realize that he doesn’t love me that way.” Jaebum says, looking somewhere far away. “I shouldn’t tell you this.”

“If you want I can play Dr. Love for you.” Jackson whispers, wondering what happened inside Jaebum’s head at the moment.

“You are a good guy, Jackosn. I am sorry for not telling you that I am in a relationship before sleeping with you.” Why Jaebum does sounds like a good guy suddenly? This isn’t right. He is playing with you, Jackson.

“Thank you?”

“Anyway, if you want to play Dr. Love, I’ll do it too,” Jaebum says. “I’ve known Mark all my life. He had a hard life. His mother hates him, his father doesn’t want to knowledge him, his brother wants him dead. Practically he doesn’t have any love in his life.”

Jackson lets the first information to sink in and that makes sense why Mark wouldn’t see love as red but another color. His life was loveless. He can’t draw love because he never saw love.

“I was his only friend and still I am. We started to date like three years ago, just because Mark thought we should give us a chance, I couldn’t say no. Why would I? I wanted to be there for him, to let him discover himself, but he grew up thinking that he loves me.”

“And he doesn’t?”

“Not in that way. He doesn’t know any different than me. He has to know what real love is. Staying by my side won’t help him, but I don’t know what I can do to help him, I want to make him see that he doesn’t love me, but apparently I didn’t choose right.”

“So what are you trying to say is that Mark loves you because he doesn’t have anyone to love him back? Like he stays with you just because you are the only one who loves him back? He loves you because you are the only one who loves him back.”

“Yes.”

***

 

“Mark?” Jackson asks, putting his hand on Mark’s sheet. Their drawing session started like five minutes ago when Jackson came up with this idea.

Mark raises an eyebrow and frowns. “What?”

“What are you doing Saturday after we visit the publishing agencies?” Jackson new scope in life is to make Mark believe that other person can love him as well. To be his friend as well. He needs to make Mark see love in other’s eyes than just Jaenum’s.

“I have no idea. Why? Inviting me at movies again?” Mark smiles. Jackson likes to see the older smile. He looks happy or almost happy.

“Better than that. I am inviting you to have a whole day with wild and sexy Jackson Wang.”

“What?” Mark’s puzzled face is priceless. He is cute as hell. Too cute for his own well.

“My nickname is Wilde and sexy,” Jackson explains, smirking at his own nickname. Actually, no one calls him that but what’s wrong with dreaming?

“I will never call you that. You are like a mandu.” Mark says, playing Jackson’s game. “You look like one.”

“If I look like a mandu, you look like a dimsum,” Jackson says back, loving the way Mark started to laugh. Mark’s laugh gives him butterflies in the stomach and his heartbeat starts to increase.

“Ok, Ok. What about Saturday?”

“I was wondering if you want to spend it with me.” Jackson knows that Jinyoung will be with Jaebum on Saturday (he kind of started to speak with Jinyoung), so he decided to do something with Mark to make him forget about the other boy.

“Doing what?” Mark asks, putting in a folder the sheet where he started to draw Jackson. This is a cue that Jackson can make an easy conversation with him.

“Whatever. Please Markie Pooh; don’t let me alone on Saturday.” He pleads. He wants to give Mark the feeling that he is needed and wanted, not just by Jaebum but buys him as well.

“You are funny.” Mark laughs. “Alright, I can make the effort and spend my Saturday with you.”

“You are a life savior.”


	7. Chapter 7

“I can’t believe that is finally over,” Jackson says putting some papers into his bag. “Every agency said the same thing.”

What a way to spend his Saturday but at least the rest of it will be spent with Mark. He looks forward to it. He will use this time to get more under Mark’s skin.

“It was refreshing, even if I don’t understand why I should know all of this. I am just drawing for the University Magazine.” Mark says a bit amused at Jackson. The older seems so tired after listening to people talking around. Is not like Jackson made any physical effort. Mark believes that the younger likes dramas, which will be kind of funny. He can’t see Jackson looking any drama, at least a Korean one where everyone is beyond dramatic.

“You had to come with us because you have to suffer with me,” Jackson says offering a smile.” What? You can’t let a friend suffer alone.” Jackson zips his bag preparing himself for the rest of the day.

“Are we friends, Jackson?” Mark asks.

Jackson can see on the older eyes hope and fear. It’s sad to live without friends because you are afraid of love. He wants to show Mark a new world where love exists. “Of course we are friends. Why? You don’t want to?”

“Oh yes. I want to be friends.” Mark says, adjusting his bag. He is kind of cute now: all vulnerable and knowing that he made his first friend.

“Then we are friends,” Jackson says, putting an arm over Mark’s shoulder and tags his closer letting the electricity that he always feels when he touches Mark run through his veins. “I want to eat first before we’ll do something, so what about KFC?”

“I love KFC. Jaebum never wants to come with me. He hates spicy food.” Mark is a ball of happiness right now and Jackson couldn’t be more content with it. The fact that he made Mark smile it’s moving something inside of him. He feels proud of himself knowing that he put that smile on the older face.

First of all, he hates spicy food as well, but he had seen Mark eating something spicy a while ago, so he decided that the older would like it. He likes to pay attention to every detail.

“So, how is the drawing me going?” Jackson asks, walking beside Mark afraid of brushing his arm on Mark. Even if he likes the feel on Mark on him, he doesn’t want to give wrong signals to it.

“Not so well, but I think I am going in the right direction,” Mark says, smiling. “I didn’t meet someone so hard to draw in all my life.”

“I think I am special.” Jackson wants to make the discussion a bit funny, but Mark’s expression is serious. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

“You are special.” Mark nods his head, elbowing Jackson on the side. “You really are.” The smile Mark has right now makes Jackson heart full of love and happiness.

That simple words made Jackson jump in happiness. All this happening in his head because he doesn’t want to scare Mark away by doing the real dance right there on the street. It’s the best two sentences that Jackson had heard in all his life. “Now that we are talking about special things, let me inform you that you are special as well.”

Mark’s cheeks start to get redden a bit shaking his head so the hair will fall into his eyes. “Thank you, you don’t need to pay me compliments. I am nothing special.”

“Yah, you should trust your friends.” Jackson jumps up. “So, when I say something you should believe me.” Just don’t believe me when I’ll tell you that I slept with Jaebum while you were dating him. I know how much it is hurting you.

“Really? What if you’ll tell me that the leaves are purple, should I believe as well?”

“Of course, you are the one who told me to paint my world in what colors I want.” Jackson found out later the meaning of Mark’s words.

“True, you should build your world how you want it. The others opinion shouldn’t stop you” Mark smiles and Jackson wants to melt in that smile.

“So, the leaves are purple, are we on the same page?”

“Yes,” Mark says, following Jackson into the KFS building and looks around for a free table. “That table is ok?”

“Yes. You go over there and I’ll go order.”

“I want a smart menu,” Mark shouts.

Jackson likes the way Mark smiles. He is more comfortable around him, more open. If he could just make Mark love him more than a friend. If what Jaebum said is true, Mark first should know which is the difference between being in love and loving someone.

After he took the order, Jackson makes his way toward Mark and places it on the table. He made sure to ask for something not so spicy. He really hates it but for Mark, he will do it.  
“Thank you,” Mark says, opening his order how fast as he can. “I haven’t eaten in ages here.”

“Enjoy your food.” Jackson couldn’t be happier to see Mark happy. So when people said that you are happy when you see your loved one happy wasn’t a lie. Jackson can’t say that he loves Mark; he is just interesting on knowing the older more. “You know. All I know about you is that your name is Mark; you like to draw and have an asshole as a boyfriend. Tell me more about you.”

“You want to know more about me?” Mark seems surprised. Jackson guesses that no one was interested in knowing Mark before.

“Yes, I told you that you are special, so tell me a secret.” Jackson wants to make Mark special, carried for and more open to new.

“A secret, huh?” Mark looks like he thinks, but Jackson knows that he is trying to mock him. “I really like pizza.”

“This is your secret? Everyone loves pizza, this isn’t a secret.” Jackson laughs taking a sip from his cola. “Be more creative, you are the one drawing.”

“You are the one dancing; freestyle should be in your description.”

“You don’t miss anything, do you?”

“Nah.” Mark smiles. “Anyway, I don’t know what secret I can tell you. I don’t keep secrets.”

Not like me. Please forgive me.

“Ah, I need to dig it for,” Jackson says putting down his sandwich. “What about cheating on your boyfriend? What about lying to your parents when you had sex? There are lots of secrets in this world. You pick one.”

“You are crazy.” Mark laughs, almost choking on his food. “I can’t believe what a secret means for you, but if you want to know.” He shrugs eating a fry. “I never cheated on my boyfriend even if he deserves it or even if we are in an open relationship. Second, I never lied to my parents about having sex from two reasons I won’t tell you.”

“That makes me more anger to know it,” Jackson says gazing deep into Mark’s eyes. He can guess one of the reasons. Jaebum said something about his parents hating on him, which is kind of strange. Who can hate this beautiful person?

“You are unbeliever.”

“Ok, ok. Let me guess then.”

“You can try, but I don’t think you’ll guess it.” Mark laugh. The time he had spent with Jackson until now is precious to him.

“Fine, your parents caught you having sex and you couldn’t deny.” Jackson lies. He wants to make the situation funnier and not hit the sensible button of Mark.

“You are wrong,” Mark says breathing hard. “Actually my parents don’t care about me.”

Jackson can’t believe that Mark actually said that out loud. Maybe the older starts to trust him more.

“You don’t have to tell me anything if it’s hard.”

“It’s ok,” Mark says, letting down the piece of meat he took. “ They divorced before I was born. My mom blames me for their divorce, my dad didn’t recognize me. Practically I don’t have a dad.”

Jackson’s heart becomes little and little with sadness. Mark’s life really was loveless. Jaebum told him something, but he never thought that the wound is so deep. It’s hard to grow up just as a person, Jaebum, on your side and love that person in all way that he knows. “I am sorry.”

“It’s ok. I get accustomed to it. Jaebum was there for me to get through it.” Mark tries to smile but fails. “He was always there for me, but I don’t know anymore. He used to love me very much.”

“I bet he still loves you, on his own terms.”

“He used to know when I am sad when I wanted someone to be there for me. He should notice how this open relationship hurts me.”

“I think you should talk to him and tell him everything.” Jackson offers. It will be hard to make Mark see the difference between kinds of love, but he has the confidence to do so.  
“I am afraid to know what he has to say, so I’ll go with the open relationship.”

“I don’t want to sound hateful but isn’t it for the best? Why beg for someone’s love?” After the words that left his mouth, Jackson realized that he shouldn’t have said that. “All I mean is that you should find someone who gives you the same love back.”

“No one would ever give me love back, at least Jaebum was there,” Mark says, looking down at the table like he hasn't seen a table in all his life.

“You have me now as well.” Jackson takes Mark hand in his.

***

 

“Can I lay my head on your lap?” Jackson asks, hope clear in his eyes. He is kind of uncomfortable standing there on the bench, but he doesn’t want to send Mark home so early or going to his dorm. Jinyoung probably is there with Jaebum, which lands to Jaebum knowing that Jackson is Jinyoung’s best friend. Anyway, this isn’t the time to worry about that.  
Mark laughs patting his lap. “You can.”

“Thank you.” Jackson lies his head down and looks up at Mark. “You are comfy.”

“Don’t get too comfy, though because it’s my lap,” Mark says, remembering Jackson’s words from a while ago when he told him to not get comfy on his bed.  
“You are being mean, why am I friends with you?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Mark says, brushing Jackson’s blonde hair from his eyes. The little touch made Jackson’s heart a jump a bit, but it’s sad knowing that it’s just a friendly gesture for Mark.

“You fish for compliments, huh?” Jackson jokes, adjusting his head on Mark’s lap. “You are special like I said. You aren’t that loud, you draw beautifully, you are kind, you have a big heart, you-“

“I get it. You can stop now.” Mark brings his palms to his cheeks, trying to hide the red face. It’s very cute. Jackson could talk about Mark’s good sides all day if that means to see the older blushing.

“You are cute when you blush.” Jackson couldn’t stop himself from saying this.

“Yah, I wasn’t blushing.”

“Whatever makes you feel better.”

The boys fell a comfortable silence. Jackson’s with his head on Mark’s lap and Mark with his hands on Jackson’s hair playing with it softly. He doesn’t notice how this affects Jackson, but the younger one knows it too well. It’s hard to have Mark there and not to try and get closer to him, not doing the same for him.

“Mark?”

“Hmm?”

“You have to promise me something,” Jackson says. “Now that we are friends.”

“What is it?” Mark looks down at him, stopping his movements.

“Promise me that you’ll never hit someone because Jaebum slept with them, please.” Jackson can feel Mark getting tensed and his face became sadder. “Look, I am saying this because I care about you.”

“I am sorry,” Mark whispers withdrawing his hands from Jackson’s hair and places it at his sides.

Jackson rises from the bench and turns to look at Mark. “I am saying this because I don’t want to see you in jail or something.” It’s hard for him to say this but is necessary for this situation.

“What?”

“I did the same mistake as you.” Jackson takes a deep breath. Maybe if he opens up for Mark, the older will do the same. “Jinyoung was dating someone and that someone was hitting him and such things. He never told me, I found that on my own, so I beat him.”

“I am sorry.” Mark looks lost.

“Stop saying sorry. You don’t have to be sorry.” Jackson takes a deep breath, time to say the truth. “I’ve beaten him so hard that he ended up in the hospital into a coma.” Jackson lets the memory come into his mind. “I ended up in jail for two months until he woke up. I am here now because he accepted the money my dad gave him to give up at his accusations.” He never wanted to talk about it again but here is he trying to Mark see that hitting isn’t the solution.

“Oh my God, are you fine now?” Mark asks his eyes wide and he reached to take Jackson’s hands into his.

“I am fine now, but the memory always is following me around. No matter what I am doing, it is there.” Jackson says, feeling comfort in Mark’s warm hands. “That’s why I am telling you to think rational sometimes. Don’t let something to take you down.”

“Thank you for telling me this,” Mark says, letting go of Jackson’s hands just to take the younger into a hug. “I promise that I’ll think before act.”

“I am just trying to be your friend. You have to let me.”

“Thank you. Besides Jaebum, you are the only one who tried to give me a piece of advice and show me kindness”

“Now let’s forget about sad things and do something funny,” Jackson says, detaching himself from Mark logging for the warm body of the older. “What you never did in your life”?

“A lot of things.” Mark laughs.

“Yah, you never cheated on your boyfriend. I know that.” Jackson says standing up from the bench. “Let’s not start with that.”

“What if I want to start with that?” Mark smirks, raising an eyebrow. Jackson likes the playful part of Mark that came out.

“Let’s start with that. Everything for my friend.”

“You are an idiot.” Mark punches Jackson’s arm. “Let’s start with walking on the beach at night.”

“You never did that?” That is a surprise for Jackson. Living in L.A. and never take a walk at night on the beach, that’s kind of strange.

“I never head the chance to do that with someone.”

Jackson’s couldn’t hide the smile that broke on his face. Hehe, Mark never did that and it’s Jackson’s first time. Why does it sound so strange and erotic suddenly? Jackson’s mind can run wild in different ways. Wake up, Jackson.

“So, are we going to do that?”

“Of course.”

“With you, I feel alive again,” Mark says, taking on the beach direction.


	8. Chapter 8

Jackson glances at his friend who is standing on the bed with his head on a music book. Since they fought two days ago, they didn’t speak too much. Jackosn doesn’t know what to say to make the things better and Jinyoung seems to ignore the problem.

“Stop staring and say what you want to say,” Jinyoung says pushing his book aside to look at his friend.

Jackson takes a seating position on his bed and takes a deep breath. “Look, I am sorry. I didn’t know why I said that things. I don’t want to see you hurt Jinyoung.”

“I know that, but your words also hurt me.” Jackson can see the disappointment in Jinyoung’s eyes. He doesn’t like that thing into his friend eyes.

“I know that. All I want is to see you happy again.” Jackson says, rising from his bed. “I am sorry, you can be happy with who you want.” Jackson goes to his friend and hugs him as tight as he can.

“You can let me go now, I can’t breathe.” Jinyoung laughs, trying to detach Jackson from himself.

“Am I forgiven?”

“Yes, you are.”

Jackson goes back to his bed with a pleasant on his face. Now that he reconciled with Jinyoung, which wasn’t that hard due to their long way of friendship. They will forgive each other in the next second the other says sorry.

“Jackson?” Jinyoung asks a bit of hesitation in his voice. “How close are you and Mark?”

Jackson looks surprised at the slight younger question. “We are friends.”

“Are you sure? You two seem pretty close.” Jinyoung asks, playing with his hands. Jackson knows that Jinyoung does that when he is nervous about something.

“I guess we get closer to time.” Jackson shrugs it off and smiles a bit. “Why do you ask?”

“I told Jaebum that I know he is dating him.” Jinyoung seems a bit troubled about it, by the way, he doesn’t want to meet Jackson’s eyes and by the fact that his voice lowered an octave. “He told me that he will break up with him soon and I remember you telling me that Mark loves him very much.”

Jackson can’t take his eyes off from his friend. He knows that eventually Jaebum has to break up with Mark but he doesn’t want to see the older cry over it.

“Even though what I said, I don’t want to break up that two but Jaebum said that they don’t love each other.” Jinyoung raises his head, finally meeting Jackson’s eyes. “I don’t know what to believe. I don’t understand and I am afraid to ask.”

Jackson looks in concern at his friend and sighs. “Jaebum and Mark will break up eventually and isn’t because of you. It’s deeper than that.”

“Should I ask him about it?”

“You should. If he cares about you enough, he will tell you. You don’t have to worry about it.” Jackson smiles standing up. He needs to clear his mind out. Mark will be broken after this, but at least Jinyoung will be happy. He really deserves it.

***

 

“I see that things changed,” Jackson says, seating beside Jaebum on a bench on a nearby park his dorm.

“Thanks for coming,” Jaebum says, not looking at Jackson.

“What do you want to talk about?” Jackson asks, turning to the older. “I guess is about Jinyoung.”

“You are right,” Jaebum says, turning his head as well. “I didn’t know that you two are friends until last night.”

“Isn’t this funny?” Jackson laughs detaching his eyes from Jaebum to look up in the sky. The sky is clean and clouds can’t be spotted in it. “Jinyoung likes you very much and I slept with you.

“That is why I called you.”

“To keep it a secret,” Jackson says. “Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning on telling him.”

“Thank you,” Jaebum says.

“I am not doing it for you; I am doing it for him,” Jackson says. “I don’t want to see him hurt ever again and I hope you won’t hurt him.”

“I won’t” Jackson can feel the sincerity in the older voice, but always the truth isn’t like it seems. He learned it very well, but he is trying to have a little faith on his friend choices. “I will try and tell Mark that we aren’t working anymore soon. I just need time to figure out how to say this. Mark is my friend. I love him above all persons.”

Jackson can understand what Jaebum is saying. He will do everything for Jinyoung as well.

“I understand but don’t hurt Jinyoung.”

***

 

Jackson moves the chair out of his way takes his earphones and wants to plug them into his ear when a soft knock can be heard on the door. He sighs and lets the phone fall onto his bed.

On the other side of the door, he is meeting with Mark, looking as stunning as ever. “Hi.” The older waves his hand and smiles brightly at Jackson.

“Mark,” Jackson says opening the door wider “What are you doing here?”

“Bored at home,” Mark replies, walking past Jackson into the room.

Jackson frowns but closes the door turning to Mark. “And you thought of visiting your friend, am I right?” Jackson laughs watching Mark closely.

“If you don’t want me here I can leave,” Mark says his face changing from happy to worry in an instant.

“No, No. I was about to practice a bit.” Jackson replies picking up his phone from the bed. “I wasn’t doing anything special.”

“You practice on your dorm?” Mark asks, making himself comfy on Jackson’s bed.

Jackson lets a small smile broke on his face seeing how casual Mark is acting around him. He feels like they got closer. “I am too lazy to go to the studio.”

“I see,” Mark says taking a pillow and adjusting it under his head, lying on it. “Your bed is comfy.”

“And I told you to not get comfy on it.” Jackson laughs, going to the fridge. “Want something to drink?”

“Yes, if you have water,” Mark says smiling brightly.

Jackson can sense that something is wrong. Mark will always smile but today it seems like he smiles too bright and too much. E knows that look very well. He had used it as well.

Jackson takes a bottle of water from the fridge and throws it at Mark. “Now that you ruined my dance practice, you have to dance with me.”

“What?”

“Come on, it won’t be hard.” Jackson needs to do something to distract Mark from his worries. Dance is the cure to all of it or at least it is for Jackson. It won’t kill Mark for giving it a try.

“If I am going to break something or look like a maniac, don’t say that I didn’t warn you,” Mark says, getting out from the bed. “I am not good at dancing.

“Everyone is good at dancing if they practice.” Jackson really wants to see Mark dance. Doing all the sensual moves he knows will look great on the older.

“Ok, so what should I do?”

And like that, the boys started to dance. Let’s say that Jackson did the dance and Mark tried to copy the moves the other was doing.

Mark started to laugh at how funny Jackson was, the smile getting more real and real on his face, getting Jackson a feel of satisfaction.

Mark felt once on Jackson’s bed, the second time on Jinyoung’s bed and the third time on top of Jackson.

Jackson gazes up at Mark and the time disappeared. There in the room is just him and Mark. Both of them lost in each other eyes or so Jackson wants to think. He can’t hear the watch ticking anymore; he can’t feel Mark’s heavy body on him, just the breath of the other on his lips.

Mark’s eyes stare into his, giving Jackson a bit of hope. Is it ok to have hope in this situation? Is this ok to live in the moment and not thinking about tomorrow? Is it ok to close the gap between them and feel the older lips on him?

Jackson’s thoughts are interrupted by something wet falling into his face. Mark’s eyes let the tears drop into Jackson, making the younger wonder what’s going on.

“Mark, what- “But his sentence is interrupted by Mark who is burying his face in Jackson’s neck and his body starts to shake silently.

Jackson’s hands, which were at his side, close around Mark in an instant. He won’t ask what’s wrong if Mark will want to tell him he will do eventually. He doesn’t want to make the other talk about the things he doesn’t want, so instead Jackson holds him close, his hands patting the older back slightly. 

He guesses that this is about Jaebum. He knows that the other one did something to upset Mark. It will be hard of his best friend to break up with him. Just Jackson looking at the older feels like his heart will break in two, he doesn’t want to know what’s happening inside of Jaebum.

He doesn’t want to find any excuses to Jaebum because he should have been sincere with Mark from the beginning. Guilt follows that thought, he should have been sincere with Mark as well, but he doesn’t have the heart to break that to Mark. Not just yet.

His neck is getting wet by Mark’s tears, but at least the shake of his body started to calm down. This is a good sign; it means Mark is getting calmer.

Mark detaches himself from Jackson’s neck and looks down at the older. Jackson can see the fresh tears on his face, the red eyes, and the puffy face. For many Mark may look ugly but in Jackson’s eyes, he never looked any perfect than this.

“I am so confused.” Mark whispers, gazing into Jackson’s eyes.

The other one can’t breathe, can’t say anything. He sees himself into the older eyes, meaning that Mark is trying to read his soul.

“What’s confusing?”

“I just feel this then I feel this. I am thinking about something, but my thought is going in other direction. I am hurt by someone and in the next moment I see myself laughing.”  
It will be a miracle if Jackson could understand what the another one is saying. Mark’s words are confusing. Maybe that’s why Mark is confusing. It’s funny but scary at the same time.

“I don’t think I understand you,” Jackson says. He can feel Mark’s heart beating on his chest. He can feel Mark’s beating on his face. It’s so overwhelming.

“I don’t even understand myself,” Mark says closing the gap between them.

Jackson should close his eyes and enjoy the feeling. He should do many things right now, but it seems like his body won’t listen to him. He is just too taken aback by the older. Why would Mark kiss him? Is Mark confusing by him? Is it ok to have hope? That’s the question of the moment.

Mark breaks the kiss and looks down at Jackson. “I am sorry, I am just… I didn’t… I am sorry for-“

Jackson looks at the other one above him and decided that is ok to have hope. What the world will become without hopes?

He moves one of his hands on the back of Mark’s neck and connects their lips again. This time, letting himself enjoy the feel of Mark.

He closes his eyes and wraps the other arms around Mark’s torso, wanting to feel all of Mark. The weight of the older on him feels so right, the other one lips on his feels like where it belongs. Everything seems to fit right. Like a puzzle.

He can feel Mark’s tongue brushing his bottom lips and Jackson opens his mouth to let the other one explore his mouth.

Mark’s tongue is so hot and feels like it wants to explore every corner of Jackson’s mouth. It’s where it should be. It must sound crazy, but Jackson never felt a kiss so lively and full as it.

Mark breaks the kiss and leans his forehead on Jackson.

The younger looks at the one who he just kissed and lets a small smile break on his face. He can’t believe that he finally kissed the other.

“That’s what you were confusing about?” Jackson asks, breaking the silence that took place upon them.

Mark gazes back into Jackson’s eyes. “I don’t know. It’s just…” Mark detaches himself from Jackson and stands up. “I know that I love Jaebum but why do I feel like wanting you as well?”

Jackson would have done a joy dance if Mark wouldn’t look so troubled. “Maybe you are wrong in what way you love Jaebum.”

“I love him. I know that.” Mark says avoiding looking at Jackson. “I am sorry.”

“You-“ Jackson starts but doesn’t finish because Mark runs out of the door.

Jackson sighs and jumps up from the floor. His life gets so messed up in a couple of weeks.


	9. Chapter 9

The leaves are purple, the sky is yellow and Jackson bangs his head on the coloring book. Since Mark left in a hurry, he tried to distract himself from it.

Yesterday he hasn't seen the older nor he did dare to call him or text him. Maybe Mark needs some space.

Their usual drawing session didn’t take place.

He lets a sigh and takes the green color to do the sun.

He can feel Mark’s lips on his, Mark’s eyes glaring at him. Everything about the older is frustrating and passionate at the same time. Jackson knew that he fucked big time. Never ever he thought that something like this will happen to him, thinking about someone else as much as he does at the moment.

Jinyoung opened the door making Jackson raise his head and look up at his friend. Jinyoung looks worried and frustrated and the Hong Kong native wonders what in the world made his friend look like this. Whatever you looked at Jinyoung in the last time rainbows was surrounding him.

“What happened to you?” Jackson asks, closing the coloring book and puts it aside. “You look like you had seen a ghost.”

Jinyoung takes slowly steps and seats on his bed. He leans his hand in his palms and sighs hardly. “Mark and JB happened to me.”

Jackson gazes at his friend as in continuing his story or whatever this is.

When the other one doesn’t speak anymore, Jackson gets down from the bed and takes a seat beside his friend. “What about them?”

“I don’t know. Don’t I deserve to be happy?” Jinyoung asks, his face showing hurt.

“What did JB done this time?” Jackson asks. He clearly remembers when he told Jaebum to never hurt his friend.

“He didn’t do anything. No one did anything.” Jinyoung says standing up and takes down his jacket.

Jackson watches in silence as his friend tries to undress and cursing when his hand got caught in one of the selves.

“I know that I deserve to be happy.” Jinyong throws his jacket somewhere far away and runs his fingers through his hair. “So does Mark.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know all that shit about Mark not loving Jaebum and he is just confusing, but who I am to steal Jaebum and make him miserable?”

“What happened with I don’t give a fuck?”

“I saw Mark tonight, ok?” Jinyoung says, going to the fridge and opens it. “He didn’t look very well.”

“What are you talking about?” Jackson asks maybe a bit to anger to know what happened with the older. At the moment, he doesn’t give a fuck, all he wants is Jinyoung to tell him that Mark was ok and nothing happened to him.

“Maybe he does love Jaebum as he says he does,” Jinyoung says. “When I first saw them together at the beginning of the college you could have seen how much adoration was in Mark’s eyes when he was looking at him.” Jinyong takes a random bottle of water from the fridge and opens it up. “Tonight he didn’t look like it anymore. What Jaebum is doing to him is wrong.”

Jackson watches in amazed at his friend good soul. He knows what Jaebum is doing to Mark isn’t right but how could he hurt his best friend? He understands Jaebum right now. Jackson as well won’t hurt Jinyoung if would be in the same situation.

“What am I doing stealing someone’s boyfriend?” Jinyoung throws the bottle on the table and sighs. “I don’t want to make Mark suffer.”

“Mark kissed me,” Jackson says.

Jinyoung stops whatever he was doing and looks at his friend. “What?”

“I didn’t tell you before because I thought that it will pass, but I really like Mark a lot,” Jackson says, looking down at his hands. “I didn’t want to interfere in their relationship as well, but now that Mark kissed me maybe I have a chance.”

“Mark kisses you? On the lips?”

“Yes,” Jackson replies looking up at Jinyoung. “Maybe Jaebum is right after all. Maybe Mark will know what the difference between those two kinds of love is.”

“I just hope you both are right.” Jinyoung sighs and collapses in his bed. “I just hope.”

***

 

Jackson looks into nothing as he bites on his sandwich. He chooses to eat his lunch outside today.

The ear is nice and the pricks on being in L.A are great. There is no cold air at this time of the year when usually back home is freezing cold.

Jackson feels a tap on his shoulder and turns his head to see who wants his attention.

The big brown eyes that are staring back at him are breathtaking and Jackson finds himself falling from the bench he was sitting on.

“Oh my God Jackson,” Mark shouts as he watches Jackson falling down and hitting his butt. “Are you ok?”

Jackson hisses in pain, but he looks at the boy in front of him. “I am fine.”

Mark offers his hand and Jackson takes it gratefully. “Does it hurt somewhere?”

Jackson really wants to scream my butt, but he keeps it to himself. “I am fine, but I lost my sandwich.”

The older laughs looking through his bag. “Here take my lunch. I don’t need it.”

“I couldn’t take it.” Jackson declines the offer and takes a seat back on the bench. “You eat it. You are slim as it is.”

“I insist, take it.”

Jackson knows that he won’t win the battle between their stars because he couldn’t resist Mark’s puppy eyes. “Let’s share it.”

Mark unwraps his sandwich and manages to break it in two. “Here, bone appetite.”

Jackson takes it and smiles at the older. “Thank you.”

The Hong Kong native can feel Mark’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t want to look up because he knows that once he does his world will fall apart.

“Jackson?”

“Hmm?”

“Please don’t stop being my friend.” At that sentence, Jackson’s head snaps up. He can feel something aching in his heart.

“What are you talking about? Of course, I’ll still be your friend.” Jackson smile. He knows that Mark doesn’t have any friends. He can’t do that to Mark and detach himself from him.

“Since you didn’t message me yesterday I thought you are mad at me.” Mark whispers.

“Ah, you were waiting for my messages, huh?”

“Yes, I did,” Mark admits making Jackson’s heart skip a beat.

What three simple words can do to his heart…

“Don’t worry Markie Pooh, I’ll send you a message today, so you won’t miss me.”

“Don’t be so full of yourself now. I was making sure you aren’t mad at me after you know.” Mark says, the last part just a whisper.

“You can say kiss, you know. It’s a wonderful word.” Jackson smirks. He likes the way Mark lets his eyes thrill down trying to hide the blush that Jackson noticed. “Anyway, I am not mad at you. Don’t worry.”

Mark looks up again and smiles. “Thank you. Let’s pretend that last night didn’t happen.”

***

 

JW: Markie Pooh…

Jackson press sends and lets his phone by his side as a small smile appears on his face.

“May I know why are you grinning like an idiot?” Jinyoung asks from the other side of the room, where is his bed.

“Nothing, just something funny I saw on Facebook, that’s all.” Jackson lies as his phones beeps.

Jinyoung throws him a look that says I don’t believe you and turns to continue his studies.

Jackson picks up his phone and takes a look at the message.

Markie: Shut up.

Jackson wants to laugh, but he tries to keep it in because Jinyoung is on the other side. Mark and his dislike of the nickname, that’s why Jackson likes to use it.

JW: I thought you’ll miss me…

In his mind, he pretends to flirt with the older even if Mark considers him just as a friend. He wants to pretend that last night didn’t happen, but Jackson can’t do that. He won’t pretend.

Markie: Miss you? Why should I do that?

JW: Because I am like your best friend.

He doesn’t like the label ‘friend’ between them, but he has to deal with it for Mark’s sake.

Markie: Shut up

JW: You tell me too often to shut up. I’ll let you know that my mouth is made with a scope.

“Still something funny on the Facebook?” Jinyoung asks again glaring at his best friend.

“Mind your own business,” Jackson says letting his phone at his side. “I am not asking you what are you doing now, which by the way, what are you doing?”

“I am making a tea, do you want?”

“Yes, make me one,” Jackson replies as his phone beeps again.

Markie: With a scope?

JW: You know: talking, kissing and other things that your virgin mind can’t know at the moment.

“You are sure that Facebook makes you smile like that?”

“Yes, I am sure.”

“Let’s me reformulate the question. Who on Facebook makes you smile like that?” Jinyoung asks, putting two cubs of sugar into the tea.

“No one, a funny video.” Jackson lies again.

“You know that I am not dumb, right? Your phone is beeping with messages nonstop. I was trying to give you a chance to tell me.”

“Just someone, ok?” Jackson asks as his phone beeps again.

Markie: My virgin mind is not as virgin as you think but hey, at least I don’t look like someone who sleeps with everybody.

“Tell Mark that I said hi,” Jinyoung says, grinning like an idiot.

“I am not talking to Mark.”

“Tell that to your idiot smile,” Jinyoung says handing Jackson a cup of tea.

“Thank you.” Jackson takes the tea and places it on his nightstand to reply Mark’s message.

JW: And I look?

He sends the message and turns to pay attention to Jinyoung again. “How are you and Jaebum?”

“We are ok. I don’t know what to do anyway, guilt is eating me out.”

Jackson sighs and takes a sip from his tea. “It’s ok, everything will be ok. You just be happy.”

“I’ll try.”

Markie: Let’s meet by the coffee I showed you.

JW: Right now?

Jackson breaths hard as he sends the message. Does Mark want to meet him now? What for?

Markie: Yes. Would you come?

JW: I’ll be there in five.

“I am going out. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Jackson says collecting his jacket from a chair and puts it on. “Don’t let strangers in our room.”

“Just get out before I am throwing my cup at you,” Jinyoung says as Jackson closes the door behind him.

As he makes his way toward the coffee that he remembers Jackson stops a bit and wonders why he left his warm dorm and see Mark at this hour.

He didn’t think twice when he replied. He knew that, but he can repeat that: he is screwed big time.

There dressed all in black is Mark waiting for him.

“You missed me that bad?” Jackson asks, making his presence known to Mark.

Mark turns toward him showing a big smile on his face. “You are always so full of yourself?

“Just when I am with you,” Jackson replies standing there awkward in front of Mark.

“Good to know,” Mark replies.

“So, what are we doing here?” Jackson asks rubbing the back of his neck.

“I don’t know. My fingers were tired of writing messages.” Mark replies. “And maybe you want to spend the night with me.”

Jackson's hearts started to beat faster as his eyes popped out of his head. He must be heard wrong or something.

“God, don’t be a pervert.” Mark laughs hitting Jackson behind his head. “I was kind of lonely lately and you always light my life.”

“Huh?” Jackson is still standing there looking like an idiot.

“I thought we could watch movies and eat popcorn.”

“Right, that is what I thought as well,” Jackson says, waking up from his daze. His mind can play dumb things on it. Why would he think that Mark wants to sleep with him even if the thought is appealing to Jackson?

“Right,” Mark mocks him. “Shell we go?”

“Where to?”

“My house.” Mark replies, taking Jackson’s hand and starts to drag him. “I don’t live far away from the campus.”

Mark’s house is actually an apartment. It isn’t that big, there isn’t much furniture in it or picture on the walls.

“Aren’t you living with Jaebum?” Jackson asks, studying the living room.

“No, he wanted to live in the dorms even if his parents live like forty minutes from here,” Mark replies, coming from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn.

“And where are your parents living? I mean your mother.” Jackson corrects himself, remembering that Mark told him about his family situation.

“She moves to Washington when I started college. I think she find someone or I don’t know.”

Mark has a sad face that Jackson doesn’t like at all. If he could, he will shower Mark in love that all his life he didn’t receive, but he knows that he can’t do that.

“So what movie are we watching?” Jackson asks, trying to change the mood a bit.

“Oh, I was hoping to see Titanic. I never saw it with someone before.” Mark says enthusiasm showing on his face.

“That’s a long movie and sad may I say.” Jackson pops down on the living room couch watching Mark putting the movie on.

Mark fell asleep on Jackson’s shoulder, which Jackson isn’t surprised at all. The older looked tired today and the memories of his mother didn’t help at all.

Jackson pressed stop to the moves and moves Mark slowly to pick him up. The older eyes blink open staring at Jackson.

“I was trying to move you to your room. Sleep.” Jackson whispers putting and hand under Mark’s head and the other under his knees.

“Jackson?” Mark asks, making the younger stop his movements to look at him. He wanted to ask what’s wrong, but he couldn’t because a pair of lips landed on his. If was any another pair of lips he would have kissed back maybe, but because are Mark’s lips he stands there shocked.

Before he could respond to the kiss the lips detach from him.

“What was that?” Jackson asks removing his hands from under Mark. “I don’t like being played like that.”

***


	10. Chapter 10

“What?” Mark asks as Jackson curses himself. He didn’t want to sound so angry, but he couldn’t help himself. He is hurt and when he is hurt he grows hid defenses.

“Look, you should stop kissing me.” The younger says trying to avoid Mark’s gaze. “It’s just confusing.” Besides confusing, is hurting him as well.

Every time Mark will do that a hope will appear inside him. It’s driving him crazy.

“I am sorry.” He can hear Mark whisper in the silent living room. Sometimes the silence can drive you mad.

Jackson looks at Mark again, admiring the lights that are dancing from the TV on the older face. “Stop being sorry,” He says taking a deep breath. Is it the moment to tell the truth? “I don’t need you to be sorry.”

Mark just looks at Jackson afraid to say something else.

“I don’t like when people apologize for kissing me. All I need is to know why you did that.” Even if the truth is painful.

“I...I Don’t-“

“Don’t say what you want to say, there should be a reason.”

Mark is quite studying Jackson as the younger feels his heart beat increase with every second. He doesn’t want to lose Mark as a friend, but he can’t just let Mark kissing him like he wants. He won’t be any experimental game, not even for Mark.

“There should be something,” Jackson says trying to break the silence that fell in the living room. “You thought I am Jaebum or-“

“I didn’t think you were Jaebum,” Mark says, cutting Jackson’s sentence. “Don’t say that, I knew you were Jackson.”

That sentence cut right into the wound. Jackson is helpless standing there waiting for Mark to speak up his mind, but when he doesn’t Jackson takes it upon himself. “You need to open up your heart, let people know you as you are.”

“It’s easy to say than done,” Mark says his voice barely a whisper.

“I know.” Jackson seats beside Mark on the couch and pats his back lightly. He can feel Mark holding in his tears. “But I am Jackson and I won’t judge you.”

Mark turns his head to take a better look at Jackson and sighs, letting his head fall on the couch’s arm. “I kissed you because it felt like doing it like this is the right think I should do.”

Jackson would love to do a happy dance right now, but because of the situation, he keeps it in. “Ok, go on.”

“There is nothing more to say,” Mark says raising his head to look at Jackson once again. “I am just confused. I don’t know what is going on inside my heart anymore.”

“What are you confused about?” Jackson asks, trying to get out what is inside Mark.

“What are you, a psychologist?”

“I can try being one for you.” Jackson jokes.

“Look, I don’t have the energy to talk about it,” Mark says rubbing his eyes sleepily. “But I’ll take it into consideration.”

“You have to talk to someone,” Jackson says standing up. “Sooner or later.”

“I know.” Mark sighs, standing up as well. “Thank you for caring about me.”

Jackson just shrugs and smiles. “Where should I sleep?”

***

 

“What are you doing?” Mark asks, seating in a chair in front of Jackson.

“I am late with a paper for school,” Jackson says raising his head to great Mark. “Usually I am like that.”

“Ah, well,” Mark takes off his coat while saying. “Everyone is like that.”

“Hey guys, what can I get you?” Bambam asks, appearing from nowhere. “Today’s specialty is croissant with peanuts.”

“I’ll take one of that and a sweet coffee with milk,” Mark says, looking through something on his bag. “Thank you Bambam.”

“I’ll take a bottle of water,” Jackson says as well, smiling a bit at the waiter.

“What? We have to celebrate.” Mark says. “He is taking a croissant as well.”

“Really?” Jackson smirks.

“Yes.”

“Fine.” Jackson smiles turning to write what is left of the sentence he started.

“I’ll be right back,” Bambam announces taking his leave.

“What we have to celebrate?” Jackson asks, packing his books and notebooks from the table. He wants to pay attention to Mark.

He watches as Mark takes a sheet from his bag and slowly he turns it. “This.”

There is Jackson, staring back at him. In shades of gray and black, Jackson looks more stunning than ever. “That is me,” He says, looking closely at the draw.

“I did this-this morning,” Mark says a proud smile on his face. “It took me from seven until ten minutes ago.”

“Wow, takes time to draw me.” Jackson jokes taking the draw to feel it. “It’s real.”

Mark laughs crossing his arms on the table. “I finally discovered what I did wrong all this time.”

“What?”

“Last night I saw something in your eyes that I never saw. It’s hard to describe it but-“

“Even if you’ll describe it I don’t think I would understand.” Jackson interrupts Mark.

“There was a hint of something that I discovered.” Mark smiles. “So, here is it.”

“Wow, that’s great,” Bambam says, putting down their order. “You did that, Mark?”

“He did it. Isn’t this great?” Jackson says. He feels like he had done the draw.

“It’s amazing.” Bambam bows and leaves.

“So, what’s that hint in my eyes?” Jackson asks. He is just curious what Mark has to say.

“Let’s not talk about it,” Mark says lowering his gaze. He picks up his croissant and bits in it.

“Yah, you should tell me.” Jackson laughs. He enjoys the company of Mark.

Even if last night he wanted to scream to the older to wake up, he kept it down. He doesn’t want to lose Mark.

“You can keep the draw,” Mark says. “I can do others.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Here-“” Mark says taking the draw. “I’ll sign it.”

***

 

“What are you watching there with so much interest?” Jinyoung asks, running from corner to corner to get ready for his date with Jaebum.

“Nothing, it’s just a draw,” Jackson says knowing that this isn’t just a draw. This is made by Mark.

“I’ll pretend that I believe you.”

“I don’t care if you believe me,” Jackson says looking at the draw again. He can’t help the smile. “Isn’t it amazing?”

Jinyoung comes closer to analyze the draw and raises an eyebrow. “That’s you.”

“I know.”

“You are an idiot, you know that, right?”

After Jinyoung left, Jackson decided that he should put the draw somewhere on the wall. Like a poster.

He can’t believe how happy makes him a simple draw.

Last night he wanted so bad to tell the other his feelings, almost begging him to leave Jaebum, but Jackson can’t be so selfish. He will keep his feelings locked up until he will move on or Mark will fall for him. The first one seems more rational, but a man can hope.

“Can I open the door, are you decent?” Mark’s voice echoes from another side of the door.

“You can come in,” Jackson says shoving the draw in one of his drawers. He doesn’t want Mark to believe that a simple draw as it makes him go crazy in happiness.

Mark opens the door slowly revealing his slim body. His face is sad even though he tries to hide it behind a smile. Jackson just knows.

“I was alone,” Mark says approaching the bed where Jackson is lying cross-legged. “I thought you can keep me company.”

“Glad to know that I am helping you,” Jackson says, letting his legs fall over the board of the bed to take a seating position beside Mark. “Do you want something to drink?”

“If you have alcohol.” Mark shrugs, letting a sad smile. “I have to celebrate.”

“What’s the occasion?” Jackson asks, getting up in search for some beer. That’s the only think he has that contains alcohol.

“My mom is getting married and she wants me to fly to Washington,” Mark says running a hand trough hid blonde hair, missing it a bit.

“And?”

“And I don’t want to go. I don’t even know the man she is marrying.” Mark puffs his cheeks out. Even if is not the time Jackson couldn’t help thinking that the older is damn cute. He could pick at those cheeks all day.

“Then don’t go. Is that simple.” Jackson grabs a can of beer from the fridge making his way back to Mark. “That is all I have.”

Mark takes the can smiling thankfully at the younger and opens it. “It’s alright.” He takes a sip making a strange face when the liquid touches his tongue. “Anyway, I have to go. She’ll go nuts.”

“Let her go nuts. She should know that her son is more important than that man.” Jackson takes a seat on the bed again and turns to look at Mark.

“I don’t know, Jackson.” Mark sighs taking another sip. “I can lie to her and tell that I have an exam.”

“Or you can ignore her. See if she really wants you there.” Jackson shouldn’t teach Mark those things, but he couldn’t help himself. Mark’s mother is a bitch and that’s the end.

“I know that she doesn’t want me. She just wants to look good in front of her soon to be husband.”

“That is just wrong.” Jackson whispers. “Here, lie down on the bed and clear your mind.”

Mark does as he is told letting the can on a nearby table. Jackson looks down him feeling his heart etching for the older.

“Are you free to listen to me, like you said last night?” Mark asks breaking the silence that fell on the room.

“Yes,” Jackson replies not sure what to do with himself. Should he lie beside Mark or should he stay on a chair like a doctor?

“Get on the bed. I feel like a patient.” Mark pats the bed beside him making Jackson laugh.

“Alright.” Jackson gets on the bed and lays his head on his arm to take a better look at Mark. “You can start, I am here to listen.”

“I feel strange, but I just feel this stone in my heart that keeps me down.”

"I was one like you, but I’ll tell you about that other time. Now it’s Mark time.”

“I want to start screaming that I hate my brother,” Mark says with a smile on his face. “I don’t know why I am smiling, but I hate him. I really do.”

“Why do you hate him so much?”

“He thinks he is everything. He just pisses me off. I grow up without my dad and he had my dad. Why couldn’t my dad love me like he loves him?” Mark’s face transformed from smiling to frowning. “What’s wrong with me? Don’t I deserve love?”

“Don’t think like that. He just doesn’t know who to love, that’s the problem.” Jackson quickly says. He doesn’t want to give Mark any wrong impression. “Everyone in this world deserves to be loved.”

“I am just confused that’s all, but I guess my dad never had the chance to love me. Not like my mom. She hated me from the moment I was born.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I heard her talking with her friend and mama told her that she found out too late to give up on me. That moment I knew that I don’t love my mom anymore. I couldn’t love her. I know that sounds wrong, but you can’t love a cold person like her.” Mark says, sniffing a bit. Jackson knows that the older keeps back his tears, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Of course, Mark. She needs to win your love, this is how things work.”

“Anyway, there is Jaebum who used to love me.”

“I am sure he still does,” Jackson adds kicking himself for saying that.

“I guess, but I know that he never loved me like I wanted him to,” Mark whispers closing his eyes slowly.

“Wanted to?”

“Yes. I think I have to break things off with him. I don’t want to keep him tied to me like that. He will end up hating me.”

“I am sure he will never hate you. He is your friend above all of this.” Since when did Jackson start to defend that fucker?

“I think my love for him changed as well. I used to miss him, to miss everything about him. I don’t want to say what, but I used to go crazy a day without talking with him.”

“And now?”

“Now I don’t know. That’s why I am confused. Whatever I see him I don’t feel that urge to hold him anymore. I don’t need to touch him anymore and I can go days without talking to him. It’s scaring me.”

“That’s normal. Every one of us went through that. Love charges but that don't mean you don’t care about the other. You do, but in a different way.”

“I realized that now.” Mark whispers, finally opening his eyes to look at Jackson. “Now I know that he stayed with me because he is pitying me.”

“He stayed with you because he didn’t want to see you crying. That’s what a true friend is called.”

“I stole so many years of his life.” Mark’s tears start to cry, covering his face.

“You were confused, that’s what humans do.” Jackson wraps an arm around the blonde and moves Mark head to lie on his chest.

After all, Jaebum was wrong. Mark did love him in that way. He can’t believe how easy he was influenced by Jaebum.

One day he hopes that Mark will love him as he loved Jaebum.


	11. Chapter 11

“Jackson?” Mark whispers, wrapping his arm around Jackson’s torso, getting a bit comfier on the bed. “I decided to love myself.”

The younger heart shines with pride at Mark’s words. Finally, the other understands that if you don’t love yourself no one will do. Maybe this is the change Mark was talking about all this time.

Jackson runs his fingers between Mark’s blonde bangs, admiring the silk like hair. “That should be the first thing someone would do: love themselves.”

“I know, right? I am an idiot for not realizing it before.” In Mark’s voice, sadness can’t be heard anymore, disappointment.

“You are just naïve, that’s all.” Jackson chuckles when Mark’s fingers start to pick at his side. “Stop it.”

“So you know I don’t consider myself naïve. I consider myself a person who didn’t learn to love himself.” Mark says stopping his poking to raise his head to look at Jackson. “But thanks to certain someone, I know that I should start loving me.”

“What can I say? I am a great teacher.” Jackson laughs as Mark picks his side again. “Why do you like to do that?”

“Because it annoys you.” Mark laughs, slapping Jackson’s chest. “I know that you told me to sleep here, but I don’t want to disturb you, so I should go.” Mark rises from Jackson, but the other catches his shoulders before he can do that.

“Yah Tuan, stop talking shit and sleep.”

“Your arm will go numb if I’ll sleep here all night,” Mark smirks placing himself back on the bed but this time in bed not on Jackson’s chest.

Jackson shakes his head looking at how much a tease Mark is. The guy can turn from angelic to devil-like in a second. “I’m going to take a shower, you better be here sleeping when I get back.”

***

 

“Why am I skipping school with you, again?” Jackson asks leaning on a wall in a store. Mark is currently looking at a snapback with a pleasant smile on his face.

This morning when he woke up Mark wasn’t in his bed. Of course, he felt disappointed but not after five minutes the L.A. native called him to ask if he wants to skip classes with him. Not asking, practically begging and Jackson being Jackson couldn’t deny it.

“Because you love me so much and wanted to accompany me.” Mark smiles putting the snapback on Jackson’s head. “See I know what suits you well.”

“What are you doing?” Jackson complains trying to take the cap down but he caught sight of the mirror hanging beside the shelf, it does look amazing. “Well, maybe you are right.”

“I’ll buy it for you,” Mark announces snapping the cap from Jackson and putting it on his head. Even Mark looks good with it.

“What? You can’t do that.” Jackson jumps to take the cap from Mark.

“You know that there are others like this even if you take this from me, right?” Mark smirks pointing to some isle with lots of snapbacks.

“You are being a meanie, but I let you slide today,” Jackson says crossing his arms over his chest. “Thanks.”

“The snapback is a gift from me for waking me up and seeing the real me,” Mark says turning to check out a jacket. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything. “ Jackson says to himself. He knows that Mark will have realized the truth sooner or later. It isn't possible to live a life in the lie.

“You did a lot of things. You made me fall out of love.” Mark says still checking the jacket out. Jackson knows that he is doing that just to hide his face from Jackson.

“What do you mean?” Jackson asks putting a hand on Mark’s shoulder. “How did I make you fall out of love?”

Mark sighs and turns to look at Jackson. Something in his eyes is shining brighter and Jackson wonders why he never saw the sparkle before. “You made me fall for you and forget about Jaebum.” Mark looks down; a faint red can be seen on his cheeks. “Well, not forget him, just made me realize that my love for him is poisoned.”

If not knowing what to do or how to react to a confession meant feeling as if time has come to stop, and one's heart to beat even faster than before, then Jackson is in the right situation. Maybe he didn’t hear it right, or maybe he did, but how should he react? Should he do a happy dance or should he play it cool?

“Look, I know that you see me as a friend and I am ok with that,” Mark says when he sees that Jackson has no reaction at all. “We don’t have to change. I don’t want you to pity me and do the same thing as Jaebum.”

“Hold on, hold on,” Jackson said, putting his hands up as in defense. He needs to speak his mind up as well. “I will never do the same thing as Jaebum.”

“I know,” Mark says smiling. “I trust you.”

“Yes but that doesn’t mean that I don’t-“ Jackson starts to say but stops when he notices that Mark isn’t listening to him. The older eyes are caught by something out of the store.  
He slowly turns, afraid to see what there is, but still he does it anyway,

There on the other side of the street is Jebum and Jinyoung kissing like life is depending on it. A picture that he didn’t want to see ever in his life.

Jackson is afraid to turn and look at Mark. Maybe Mark just admitted that he likes Jackson but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t hurt. It is impossible to know what is going through the elder’s mind.

“You knew about that?” Mark asks making Jackson jump in surprise.

“Well-“

“Did you know or not, Jackson?” Mark asks more firmly, this time, staring right into Jackson’s scared eyes.

Damn his life.

“I…” Jackson sighs. “I did know about it but-“

“And you kept this from me?” Mark asks, taking down the snapback from his head and lets it in a random place. “I thought you were my friend.”

“I am your friend.” Jackson rushes to say, speaking loud enough for an old lady to look their way. “I didn’t want to upset you and it wasn’t my place to tell you.”

“And I was complaining to you about me and Jaebum,” Mark says leaving Jackson standing there. “What an idiot.”

“Look, Mark,” Jackson says rushing after him. “I never thought that you were an idiot.”

“I need to calm down before I start to punch people even if I promised you not to.” Mark runs his fingers through his hair taking a deep breath. “I don’t love Jaebum like I used to, but I don’t like being lied to.”

Jackson doesn’t know what to do or say to make things better, so he shouts the first thing that runs through his mind.

“I love you, ok? I love you, that’s why I couldn't tell you. I never want to see you sad; I want to only see you happy. I hate to see you down and longing for Jaebum. My heart won't let me tell you the truth because I fucking love you and you telling me about your love for Jaebum made me unable to tell you.”

Jackson says letting everything out. If Mark decides that he doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore so be it. Even if he wanted to keep it all inside for the sake of their friendship he couldn’t do that anymore. Not when Mark has just confessed to him, not when Mark is now looking at him as if he is a traitor.

“You love me?” Mark whispers, there in the middle of the alley where people are passing by, looking like a lost puppy. Probably because Mark has never heard the word 'love' from anyone before. Did he scare the older or something because he really didn’t want to do that? Damn him and his fucking big mouth.

“I love you. I couldn’t help myself for not falling for you.” Jackson says, looking into Mark’s eyes. “Would you hurt the person you love? I know you won’t.”

Mark just shakes his head, trying to digest all the information. He looks so scared and fragile right now as if he will break into many pieces anytime soon.

“Now that you told me that you like me and everything we should go and buy some food,” Jackson says punching Mark’s arm. “Come on Tuan, snap out of it.” He really wants to light out the mood, but it doesn’t seem to work at all.

When Mark still doesn’t move even for a bit, Jackson starts to worry. He shouldn’t be blunt about things. It is one of his defects, but it doesn’t seem like he can let go of it.

“Mark?”

“Food, food's great,” Mark whispers as he nods his head. “Yeah, food.”

“You are cute and all, but you should really get a hold of yourself and… I don’t know… tell me to fuck off or that you will give me a chance.”

Jackson knows that he shouldn’t ask that in the middle of the street but the perfect moment isn’t necessary somewhere with lights and shit. All that matter is the feelings. Right?

“I thought you wanted to eat with me,” Mark says smiling playfully at Jackson.

“Well… Yeah… Food.” Jackson says, following Mark. “Where are we going?”

“To eat.”

“To eat where?” Jackson asks catching up with Mark. “I don’t like the smile you are giving me right now. Where are we going?”

“KFC.”

“I don’t like spicy food,” Jackson complains but still following Mark toward their destination.

“You are a baby. A giant baby.”

***

 

“Why are you smiling?” Jinyoung asks pushing his book aside and jumps out of his bed. “Is it Mark?” He jumps on Jackson’s bed winking.

“What are you talking about? I am not smiling.” Jackson defends himself, hitting Jinyoung’s arm playfully.

Even if he and Mark didn’t talk about the confession while eating, Jackson couldn’t help but smile. He is just happy knowing that Mark has some feelings for him.

Of course, Mark has to talk with Jaebum and clean up all the mess in his life before he starts a new relationship, so Jackson won’t push for it. He will give some time to the older.

“Cut the crap Wang, tell me everything.” Jinyoung smiles, a smile that makes Jackson sick just from watching it.

“You are worse than a girl,” Jackson says, pushing Jinyoung face aside. “Nothing, I am smiling because I can.”

Jackson’s phone beeps on his nightstand, but Jinyoung is faster than him at grabbing it.

“Give it back, Jinnie.” Jackson says, jumping from his bed to catch his idiotic friend.

“Yah, which sane person would put a password on his phone?” Jinyoung asks, running his fingers on the phone.

“Everyone.” Jackson snaps the phone from Jinyoung’s hold and glares at his friend. “This is mine and you should mind your own business.”

“Yah, you don’t have to get mad,” Jinyoung says jumping in his bed. “I just want to know why my friend his happy.”

“It’s because of Mark, happy?” Jackson asks opening his phone.

Markie Pooh: Good night, sleep well and have wonderful dreams.

Jackson smiles typing back a response. JW: Thank you, you too. Dream of me!

“I like that smile on your face,” Jinyoung says closing the light on his nightstand. “I rarely see you like this.”

“Good night, my idiotic friend.” Jackson smiles looking at Mark’s message over and over again.  
***


	12. Chapter 12

Jackson sighs and enters the coffee shop. He immediately spots Bambam serving at a table and Jaebum stuck at a back table. He unzips his jacket and makes his way toward the person that called him here, Jaebum, who else?

“It was decided that we shouldn’t meet again, right?” Jackson says taking a seat. “But of course, who can live without me?”

“As much as I want to feed your big ego, this isn’t the case,” Jaebum replies taking a sip from his mug of tea.

“Then?”

“I spoke with Mark last night,” Jaebum says a concerned look on his face. “Now I see why you were so interested in him before. First I thought that you are like that, trying to find things out about me but what do you think? I changed my opinion; you wanted to know things about Mark.” Jaebum smiles, more like a mocking smile. “You like Mark.”

Jackson just stays there and listens what is the other trying to say, right, he never said to Jaebum out loud that he is interested in Mark, but he thought that the other will catch up eventually.

“Anyway, I talked to him and talked things you don’t need to worry that much. I think he really likes you very much.”

“So, what is the propose to call me here?” Jackson asks leaning on his seat. “I don’t believe that it is because of the fact that you still love him very much and that you want me to stay away from him.”

“Oh, on the contrary, my friend.” Jaebum smiles, making a big show from drinking his tea. What? He thinks he is some kind of dramas? “I am here because like you know, Mark is my friend, even if we decided to take a break from each other for a while. Anyway, that doesn’t concern you.”

“Are you trying to warn me if I break his heart you’ll break my balls?”

“You are a funny guy, Jackson.” Jaebum likes to tease the other, Jackson found out that maybe too late but what can he do now. Jaebum is part of his life now. “Mark can take care of your balls if you hurt him, believe me.”

Jackson does believe him. He recalls the night when Mark was fighting that guy who apparently slept with his boyfriend. That wasn’t a nice sight, so he makes a mental note no never get on Mark’s bad side.

“All I want to say is that even if our relationship was like it was, I still care about Mark a lot, so please don’t hurt him. Don’t do the same thing I did. Take care of him and never lie to him.”

“I wasn’t planning on it, so you don’t need to worry,” Jacksons says as he watches Jaebum standing up.

“I am leaving first,” Jaebum says taking a step but he turns around with a smirk on his face. “Oh, and Mark is a top, so good luck at fighting for that spot.”

“What?” Jackson asks watching Jaebum leave. “What the hell is wrong with that guy?”

He gets up and leaves the café shop with Jaebum words on his mind. “Snap of it, Jackson. It’s not healthy for your sanity.”

***

 

Jackson really wanted to get out of the house and fresh his mind a bit, so he decided to take a walk and hand over his article for the University Magazine rather than emailing it.

“I was feeling like bringing in the article, so here I am,” Jackson says to the girl who is in charge of it all. She’s a girl from the art department as Mark told him before. All Jackson knows about her is her name, Hyuna. She seems really nice and carefree.

“Thank you, Jackson,” She replies taking the newly printed pages of the article. “I’ll put your article as a title on the cover.”

That was something that Jackson didn’t expect at all. He is doing all this shit for some credits at the end of college but apparently he is good enough. “Really, wow.”

“Yes, you write good articles,” She says smiling warmly. “There is your friend, go say hi.”

Did he saw a wink coming from her?

Turning his face he sees Mark on a cubicle with his head buried in some sheets and a pencil in his hand moving furiously on it. He can’t contain the urge to smile, seeing how he blows some blonde hairs from his forehead. He is the must cutest thing on Earth. Top? Jaebum must have been being mistaken.

He shakes his head as Hyuna chuckles beside him. “I knew that he is gay but never expected this from you but what can I say? You two will make a great couple.”

“What?” Now his believes that his face turned a shade of red as well.

“I’m going now, I’ll email you the details about the next article,” She says taking her bag from her desk and winks again.

He watches as she leaves, trying to calm his nerves a bit.

He takes a deep breath and goes toward Mark.

“Are you so deep in your work that you didn’t even notice I am here?” Jackson says from Mark’s behind. “I am totally hurt.”

Mark jumps in surprise as he turns around. “Oh hi, Jackson. What are you doing here?”

“I came to hand over an article.” Jackson grabs a chair from a nearby cubicle and seats beside Mark. “What are you drawing?”

“For the comic page something about how poor kids can be happier than the rich ones.” He takes the sheet and shows it to Jackson. “I want to be one of the poor kids so bad.”

“Don’t worry, Markie Pooh, everyone has his meaning in life.” Jackson takes Mark’s hands in his, caressing the back of it. “Anyway, now you have me.”

“Thank you.” Mark withdraws his hands from Jackson’s hold, leaving a bit of pain in his young heart. Why is Mark so distant today? “Tomorrow I have to fly to my mom wedding.”

Jackson sighs, standing up. “When are you leaving?”

“My flight is at noon,” Mark says turning to look at Jackson. “I don’t want to fucking go, but I don’t want to be like her. I want to be there for her even if this is all that I can do.”

“You are a good guy, Mark.” The Hong Kong native says, taking Mark’s hands once again and helps him to stand. “Now let’s get wasted, like before the war.”

“What are you talking about?” Mark laughs. “Let me take my stuff.”

***

 

“Are you going to cook for me?” Mark asks opening his apartment door.

On their way here, Jackson wanted to stop at the markets, so he could by some things. That was strange, but Mark didn’t question it until now.

“I was planning to,” Jackson replies, following Mark inside. “Why? Don’t I look like someone who could cooks?”

“Well, I don’t usually judge a book by its covers, so I guess you could cook.” Mark throws his stuff on the living room couch and turns on the lights.

“I shouldn’t say this but your apartment really needs some stuff, this is so plain.” Jackson couldn’t hold his tongue; he just needs to point out the obvious. “Why don’t you hung up some of your drawings.”

“I don’t think I would feel comfortable seeing my drawings on the walls.” Mark makes signs for Jackson to follow him into the kitchen. “You can use whatever you like from here, but I am warning you that I don’t know where everything is. I never cooked in here.”

“So when you cook then?” Jackson asks placing the bags he bought on the cupboard yard looking around.

“Well, I don’t cook.” Mark looks a bit embarrassed by it, and that’s something Jackson finds so damn cute.

“Then you should pay attention to me,” Jackson says approaching Mark slowly. “I will miss you those days when you are gone.”

Mark takes a deep breath as Jackson stops in front of him. He knows that he should say that he’ll miss him back, but it seems like his brain can’t function now and that the cat caught his tongue. He is just standing there, not blinking nor breathing.

Jackson, on the other hand, looks calmer than ever, he doesn't expect anything in return when he said those words, he just wanted to say the obviously.

“Buy me a present.” Jackson decided to say when Mark didn’t give any sign to reply to his statement.

“What would you like?” Mark asks as Jackson moves back to the cupboard searching for something to start his cooking. Isn’t like he wants to show off in front of Mark, he just wants to feed the other some home cooking meal.

“I don’t know, you think about it.”

“I saw that you like snapbacks-,” Mark says smiling wide. “- which reminders me of something. Hold on a minute.”

Just like that Mark disappears from the kitchen, leaving Jackson frowning. That kid isn’t predictable at all.

Jackson shakes his head smiling and starts to take out the ingredients he bought for the pasta. What? He cooks what it’s easy to do. He isn’t an expert cook; he knows to cook from what he caught on from Jinyoung.

“Here,” Mark says making Jackson jump. He didn’t even hear when the older got back into the kitchen.

The L.A. native is holding up a bag in the air, which Jackson assumes is a present. “What’s this?”

“Why don’t you open it?” Mark says with a big smile on his face. Jackson admires that moment when the older smiles like that, it’s a perfect smile that you can see just in toothpaste advertisings.

Jackson takes the bag from Mark’s hold and puts it on the kitchen table, taking his time to open it. To say that he is surprised what he had seen it isn’t accurate, actually he kind of felt that a snapback is in there, the snapback Mark wanted to buy him that day.

“I forget to buy it back then but here is it, I hope you still like it,” Mark says holding his breath waiting for Jackson’s opinion.

“Thank you, I love it more because it’s from you,” Jackson says putting the cap on and taking Mark into a hug. “I love it.”

“I am glad,” Mark says leaning in as to kiss Jackson, but that damn cap is standing in his way, so instead he hit his head on it. “I shouldn’t have bought you this.”

Jackson laughs and turns his cap closing the distance between them. It’s something that he wanted to do since he saw Mark today but something inside him told him to hold back, to go on Mark’s won terms, after all, Mark just got out from a relationship.

How much as he wants to depend the kiss and maybe move it somewhere else, he needs to feed Mark, so he breaks the kiss and leans his forehead on Mark’s. “I really should cook for you.”

“Later,” Mark says kissing Jackson again.

Now who is Jackson to put a stop to this? He should do as Mark please, so he puts his hands around Mark’s neck pushing a bit so they could get closer. Now, he can breathe the same air that Mark breathes, he can feel Mark’s arms around torso now, he can feel those plump and sweet lips on his again. He can do those things he wishes to do every day.

Lost in his thoughts and Mark’s lips, he didn’t even notice when Mark pushes him that his back is hitting the cupboard. He must be wiped.

Mark breaks the kiss letting Jackson breathe and moves on his neck.

The Hong Kong native unwraps his hands from Mark’s neck and runs his fingers through Mark’s hair, pushing slightly so Mark can press his lips harder on his neck.

Mark trails his lips from Jackson’s neck to his jaw and to his ear letting behind a hotline on his skin. Jackson feels like he is on fire, Mark really knows how to work with his lips and tongue.

The younger feels so overwhelming, so he takes Mark’s face into his hands and connects their lips once again, the kiss turning into a mess of moans and sounds of teeth. Not wanting this to turn into something more because Jackson feels that is too early for that, he breaks the kiss, resting his forehead on the crock of Mark’s neck.

He can feel Mark’s chest moving from the heavy breaths on his chest, and Mark’s hands around himself holding him close. If he could stay like this forever he will do but he needs to feed the big baby.

“I think I should start cook,” Jackson says as Mark’s laughs.

“I guess I interrupted you.” Mark lets go of Jackson and seats on a table, ready to watch Jackson, cook. “Oh, before that I need to ask you something.”

Jackson nods his head and starts to search for something so he could cut the vegetables. He waits for Mark question, but it never comes, so he stops and looks at the older. He seems nervous and lost.

“What is it, Mark?”

“I don’t want to sound irrational here and I know that I just ended a relationship and all that shit but since you came into my life I couldn’t stop thinking of you. I thought at first that this must be because you are my only friend and because you showed some interest in me but later I realized that isn’t the case. The truth is that you made me realize what true love is and you showed me to love without expecting anything in return, so that made me fall for you. So I know that is hard to believe this but I like you a lot, so I was you know… wondering, if you know…”

Jackson just stands there waiting for what Mark wants to say next but seeing that nothing is coming from his mouth he decided to speak instead. “The answer is yes.” Jackson laughs letting down the spoon he found in one of the drawers and kneels beside Mark.

Mark makes his eyes big and lowers his face, so he could look better in Jackson’s eyes. “Really?””

“Yes, Mark.” Jackson closes the space between their lips and lets a sweet kiss there. “Now let’s get you some food.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!!!

Markie-pooh: The dinner is so boring…

JW: That happens when I am not there ;-)

Jackson presses send and look on the other side of the room at his best friend. “What the hell are you doing?”

Jinyoung stops from spraying the room, turning to look at Jackson. “I am making sure that this room isn’t smelly.”

“Smelly?” Jackson crooks an eyebrow, a lost look on his face. “Why would it be smelly?”

“Because Jackson Wang is living here,” Jinyoung replies going back to his task.

“You never told me that I smell or something and you never cared about these things.”

“Jaebum is coming over to keep you company. I know that Mark’s gone.” Jinyoung finishes with spraying and goes to make his bed, which always is messy.

“You say that like he is gone forever.” Jackson stands up from the bed and goes to wash the dishes, at last, that what he can do. “And why is Jaebum is keeping me company?”

“Not just him, me too,” Jinyoung says smiling brightly at his newly made bed.

“You sure are strange,” Jackson says as his phone beeps on the nightstand. He wipes his hands on a towel, practically running toward his phone.

Markie-Pooh: I can’t wait to be back. My mom gives me a headache.

JW: I’ll take care of your headache when you’ll be back. I miss you already.

“Stop smiling like an idiot and finish the dishes,” Jinyoung says, shaking his head a bit. He likes to see his best friend smile so bright.

“Yes, mom,” Jackson says getting back to his task. “Anyway, I wanted to spend my evening with you, without being the third wheel.”

“Don’t worry, Jaebum already told me that you two meet in the dancing class.”

“Whatever.” Jackson murmurs as his phone beeps again. He can’t help but smile at how love-struck he is.

Markie-Pooh: I miss you tooooooo

JW: Don’t worry; we’ll see each other soon.

After finishing his task of washing dishes and chatting with Mark thought messages, Jackson collapse on his bed wondering how this night will go on since Jaebum is supposed to be here like now. As a cue, he can hear a knock on the door and Jinyoung rushes to it like his life depends on it. It’s funny how strong Jinyoung became since that incident with that prick who broke his heart into million pieces. That day when Jackson decided that falling in love was a waste of time but Mark proves him wrong and how glad he is that this happened.

“Hey, Jackson.” Jaebum greets as he kisses his boyfriend softly on the lips.

Jackson is jealous, he is but soon Mark will be back and can spend a whole day kissing his favorite blonde head. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Visiting and apparently keeping your company since Mark is away,” Jaebum smirked placing on their table a bag. “I bought chips and beer since Jinyoung told me that we are watching a movie.”

“Really, we are watching a movie? Together?” Jackson asks, glaring at his best friend who is silent watching the two men.

“What else can we do than that?” Jinyoung shrugs opening the bag Jaebum bought. “Or you want to do something else?”

“No, no.” Jackson shakes his head. “You two watch the movie together, I am going to write my new article.”

“What? We are supposed to do things together.” Jinyoung annoying face appeared.

“I know but I am not in the mood, I won’t interrupt your movie, chill.”

“Fine, whatever.”

Jackson watches thought dancing videos on YouTube for his new article but his eyes sometimes catching the other two beings cuddled together on Jinyoung’s bed. How bad he wants Mark right now with him now, looking at a movie together and feeding each other popcorn and maybe he could steal some kisses in between. What Mark can do to him it’s unbelievable. Never in his life had he thought that he will fall so fast and so hard for a person likes Mark. He always had the idea that people should have things in common to click but apparently, the ones who said that opposite attracts must be true. This way the other can complete your missing and you can complete the other missing points.

He paused the video to write a message.

JW: I am thinking of you…

He presses send as the room lights up.

Jinyoung flexes his arms and exits the room, leaving his boyfriend all alone on the bed.

“Where is he going?” Jackson asks, putting his phone aside to look at Jaebum

“Bathroom,” Jaebum says stretching his arms above his head. “Everyone had needs.”

“Right,” Jackson says shaking his head. He thought that in this time he had his mind drifting toward Mark, they fought or something even if Jinyoung isn’t the type to flip over minor things.

“By the way-“ Jaebum starts looking anywhere else than Jackson. “Thank you for not telling him that we slept together.”

“Don’t worry-“ Jackson starts to say when the door soundly opens with a loud thud. Apparently, Jinyoung forgot something in the room.

“What? You two-“ Jinyoung says, clearly not pleasant of what he hear right now.

Jackson and Jaebum jump from their beds and make their way toward the younger one. “Isn’t like that, I can explain”, Jackson says trying to catch his best friend hand in his and Jaebum tries to hug him.

“Look, let’s keep calm and talk it out.” The oldest of them says.

“Keep calm when my boyfriend slept with my best friend?”

“I wasn’t your boyfriend back then,” Jaebum says his eyes full of guilt.

Jackson doesn’t even know what to say to make it better. “I know that this won’t make things better but you back then didn’t know Jaebum.”

“What?” Jinyoung snaps, his eyes full of tears that are about to fall but he tries to be strong and keep it in him. “I know Jaebum since the first day we came here.”

“Look, I know that we messed it up but-“ Jaebum starts to say when Jinyoung interrupts him again.

“Messed up? What am I? Someone who picks the other’s trash?” He yells making the other two stop. When he realized what he had says he covers his mouth with his palms as tears start to fall like a waterfall.

Jackson is hurt and he can see clearly the hurt in Jaebum eyes as well. He also can see the horrific and the guilt on Jinyoung’s eyes as well. It isn’t like Jinyoung to make someone trash and step over his feelings. Jinyoung must be very mad right now for saying things that he will regret later. The person who talks without thinking is Jackson, not him.

“What? Trash?” Jaebum asks glaring at his boyfriend or is it safe to say ex- boyfriend? “You just called me trash because I slept with someone before meeting you?”

“I am sorry.” Jinyoung whispers as his thumbs clear the tears on his face. “I am sorry.”

“Ok, I am a trash for being in a relationship with Mark and not treating him right and for not being honest with him but I have always been honest with you, I even told you that already I am in a relationship when we meet. Fine, I am guilty for not telling you that I slept with Jackson before meeting you. I admit that I did wrong but to the extent of calling me trash?”

Jackson can’t form words to say right now. He is too stuck in the moment. This is his fault as well for not telling Jinyoung. He knew that he should have said something but their friendships are too precious for him. “I did wrong as well for not telling you but Jaebum shouldn’t be called trash for this.”

“I am sorry,” Jinyoung whispers again as Jaebum takes his jacket from where he threw it. With one look at the heartbroken Jinyoung he leaves.

Jackson watches as his best friend cuddled in a ball on the living room floor whispering, again and again, sorry. He knew that a sorry can’t repair the words Jinyoung threw so careless at his boyfriend but he hopes that the older will change his mind and forgive Jinyoung.

“Jinyoung, let’s get you in bed,” Jackson says helping the younger into his bed. “Look, Jaebum will come around, he loves you that much.”

“I messed up really bad but I saw red when I heard that he slept with you,” Jinyoung says as he stares into nothing. “I can’t look him in the eyes again.”

“You both should forgive each other, you for calling him trash and him for not being honest with you,” Jackson says hugging his best friend. He hopes that everything will turn fine. “I am sorry for not telling you this but this happened before you two meet.”

“I don’t know anymore,” Jinyoung says leaning his head on Jackson’s shoulder. It’s like the past is happening again but he hopes that this story will have a happy ending this time.  
“I know that you shouldn’t forgive me for this one but, at least, tomorrow talk with Jaebum, make things right. He loves you very much.” Jackson says trying to turn some sense into his friend. “Talk about your feeling with him. Don’t keep it all inside. Tell him how you are feeling and he will do the same. This is how a relationship works: based on trust.”  
After Jinyoung fell asleep, Jackson closed the light and got into his bed

He takes his phone just to see two messages from Mark.

Markie-Pooh: I am thinking of you as well

Markie Pooh: Dream me, sweet dreams.

With that, Jackson fell asleep with his heart heavy. He knows that he should tell Mark about this as well. A lie can’t be hidden forever but in this case, will be more difficult. Jackson slept with Mark’s boyfriend at that time, being it an open relationship or not.

That’s true, a relationship is based on trust and this is how he will handle things from now on. No more lies, no more hidden things just because he doesn’t want to hurt the other.

 

Jackson’s frowns when his phone rings, waking up him from his sleep. Why the hell someone will call him so early in the morning?

Taking his phone with his eyes closed he whispers a hello and lets his head fall on the pillow once again.

“Good morning, sleepy head. Did I wake you up?” Mark’s voice echoes from the other side of the phone making Jackson open his eyes wide. “I am sorry.”

“No, no,” Jackson says shaking his head as well. “I wasn’t sleeping.”

“You are a liar but I’ll pretend to believe you.” Mark chuckles as Jackson rises in a seating position on his bed. “How did you sleep?”

“Good.” Jackson lies. He couldn’t get so much sleep thinking about the possibility of losing Mark after he will tell him about him and Jaebum. “Like a newborn baby.”

“That’s good to hear,” Mark says and Jackson can hear that the older is taking a deep breath. “I don’t miss you at all.”

Jackson’s heart jumps in joy as his face brakes into a wide grin. “Really? Well, I want to inform you that I haven’t missed you as well.”

“I am glad.”

“So, today is the wedding, right?” Jackson asks looking on the other side of the room to see if Jinyoung is still sleeping. Indeed, his best friend is snoring softly in the silent room.

“Yes, I can’t wait for this to end. Last night at the dinner I met so many people that I can’t count them. I even have a new stepbrother, like one, wasn’t enough for me.” Mark complains as Jackson get down from his bed to prepare a tea for him and one for Jinyoung. This is, at least, he can do for him right now.

“You’ll see his face just for today, so don’t worry too much, everything will be fine.” Jackson encourages his boyfriend as he pours water. “You have a great time and show your mother how great you’ve grown up.”

“Yeah whatever, she doesn’t like the college I chose. She kept praising her new son and his medical career that he chooses.”

“Don’t let her get to you; there are plenty of people who love you for who you are,” Jackson says watching how the water boils on their little cooker. “Including me.”


	14. Chapter 14

Jackson smiles as he exits the little dinner from where he had bought some warm food for Mark. The older texted him a while ago telling him that he arrived safely home.

From that moment, Jackson didn’t lose any moment and get dressed and ready to leave to the other apartment. Even if he didn’t tell Mark that he will visit him, he knows well that the L.A. native expects him.

He can feel his heart beat faster in his chest as the doors of the elevator opens revealing Mark’s floor. Just a bit more and he will be in the arms of Mark again.

Knocking softly, to not sound so anger, Jackson takes in a deep breath, telling him that this is Mark he had met at the beginning of college. Nothing changed between them, well, just the part with kisses and yeah, but in rest everything will be as always has been.

When Mark opened the door, Jackson’s thoughts went on pause just taking in Mark’s handsome features. Yes, nothing changed in these two days that Mark went away. Two days that for Jackson felt like two years. He can’t believe how fucked he is and all this being Mark’s fault.

“Come on in.” Mark's voice breaks his stare. He looks down in embarrassment and raises a flower for Mark to take it. “Are you kidding me? You know, I am not a girl who expects flowers and teddy bears.” The older says taking the flower from Jackson’s hand as the younger enters the apartment.

“Teddy bear, I knew that I forgot something.” Jackson smiles brightly as Mark’s face fell. “Chill out, I bought this flower because your apartment looks so empty. You take care of the flower and water it from two to two days.”

“Yes, mom.” Mark laughs placing the little thing on the coffee table and turns to Jackson. “There’s no welcome kiss for me?”

Jackson’s face fell but recovered in an instant, his mouth forming a pleasant smile to look at. He places the bag with food on the table, beside the plant and wraps his arms around Mark’s waist. “I missed you so much.”

“Me too,” Mark says, his breathing hitting Jackson’s face, leaving behind a pleasant chill. He did really miss Mark a lot. He got use to be in the other’s company every day, from when Mark started to draw him to the point when they started to simply hang up.

Not wanting to waste more time, Jackson took Mark’s lips into a kiss. Just that simple touch of lips made him tremble, wanting to feel more of Mark, to kiss him more desperately.  
Mark’s hands on the back of his head and fingers tangled in his hair didn’t help his state not even a bit. He could feel Mark’s chest on his moving with every breath they both take. The silent room letting every sound they make heard.

Tugging Mark closer to him, Jackson moves his mouth on Marks, wants to feel everything that he craved for the last two says.

This moment feels so right, so right that Jackson didn’t feel in a while. He and Mark kissing like their life depends on it. It gives him chills just thinking of how far he had become since he met Mark.

Mark showed him what love is and what to be loved means. When he truly gave up on love, someone appeared changing his mind in a couple of days.

***

 

Jackson watches as Mark dings in the food he had bought, a warmth smile on his face but this little thing can’t help him from his thoughts. He needs to tell Mark about him and Jaebum, he can’t afford to let Mark discover it by himself.

“Mark, I need to tell you something,” Jackson says, swallowing his saliva. He can feel the nerve bouncing at his heart and how his blood temperature increases with every second. How he will tell Mark about it, he didn’t decide it yet but he can’t lose more time.

“Are you ok, Jackson? You look like someone killed your cat.” Mark laughs at his own stupid joke but gets serious when Jackson doesn’t show any kind of amusement. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to tell you something before I change my mind,” Jackson says, letting his spoon down on the table and looks carefully in Mark’s eyes. “Me and Jaebum-“”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Mark says interrupting Jackson.

Jackson frowns and opens his mouth to say anything that won’t make this any worse than it already sounds in his mind. “I need to say this-“

“No, you don’t.” Mark interrupts again. “I already know, so please don’t bring it up.”

Jackson watches how Mark lowered his eyes down and starts to pick his food with the fork. Jackson never is a loss with words but this time, Mark made his mouth and brain stop. He couldn’t possibly know, just him and Jaebum knows about it, and now Jinyoung. Well, Jackson doesn’t know if Jaebum told anyone but he doesn’t think about the other this way. It must be something else that Mark knows.

“I think we are talking about different things.” Jackson tries again.

Mark lets his fork fall on his plate and looks at Jackson again. “I think we are talking about the same thing.” The older says sighing. “I know every single person Jaebum slept with and you aren’t any exception.”

Surprised you may say that Jackson is, well, he is terrified. This isn’t something that he expected to hear at all. He thought that Mark will shot at him, scream, throw him out of the apartment and threatening him to never get close to him again but instead the older was the one to say it out loud.

“I have my way to find everything out, so don’t look so surprised.” Mark continues like never happened. “I met you before I knew that thing and because I was interested to find out why I couldn’t draw you, I let this slight for a while and I could get to the beaten part up after.”

Jackson couldn’t believe his ears. Mark knew and didn’t say anything because he wanted to draw him? It sounds like a movie but feels so real.

“After I discovered how a great person you are, I tried to bury that up, until now.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Jackson says, playing with his fingers. “I am sorry; I didn’t know that Jaebum is in a relationship at the time.”

“I know,” Mark says. “Anyway, that’s in the past and I decided to let it behind and make a new future. Everyone learns from their mistakes and I am not someone who couldn’t pass this.”

“So, aren’t you mad?” Jackson asks his voice barely a whisper on the silence room. It seems too surreal to be true.

“I was mad at the beginning but apparently I am an amazing actor. Anyway, with the time that passed and this is how my feeling started to grow. Don’t sorry, I am not mad.”  
“Are you sure?”

“If I still was mad I would have thrown you out of my apartment through the window.” Mark laughs getting back at eating.

“Such a sadist,” Jackson says a little happier that he has been.

***

 

Jackson likes the warm Mark leaves ever no and then when he rubs his palm on his chest while he rested his head there. The room is silent but it doesn’t bother any of them.

Jackson is glad that the older didn’t kick him out when he almost told him about him and Jaebum. Well, he was surprised to know that Mark kept it everything in him. If he was in Mark’s place he will say go to hell about drawing and punch the guy even if Jackson is against it.

Their story is kind of twisted but he is glad that is with a happy ending or so he hopes, if not, he will make everything to make it happen.

Being next to Mark feels peaceful and mind-blowing at the same time, maybe because of how their story and fate brought them together.

Jackson can feel Mark’s breath on his neck, every little huff sending pleasant shivers down his spine and soon the breath becomes a soft pair of lips on his hot skin.

He turns his head a bit aside to give Mark more space to keep going on with his activity but for his disappointment, the older stopped.

Unpleasant Jackson takes a good look at Mark who is smiling at him and the next second he can feel a gentle touch on his lips, so quick that Jackson may think that he imagined it.

The younger smiles on the other lips, the soft touch turning into a dance of their lips pressed together. Mark’s lips always felt like the softest thing in the world making Jackson open his mouth over again for the other.

Mark takes the plump button lip of Jackson between his teeth, tugging at it a bit as Jackson leaves a soft gasp to pass his lips telling Mark that he likes what he does with his mouth.  
The older lips are soft and warm, as they press even together, with Mark now practically climbing on top of the other. Jackson wraps his arms loosely around the blonde head and lets’s they lips dance forward together.

This moment feels so right that words aren’t necessary to be said. Like fireworks started to spark between them, so this is how the dominance for the kiss started and ending with Mark winning while Jackson gasped for air when Mark brushed his palm over Jackson’s clothed nipple.

Mark kissed the other until Jackson’s lips are red and puffy.

Breaking the kiss, Mark looks down at Jackson, a feel of love and trust running on his body. He had a rough life and loveless but he is glad that he find in in the person that he didn’t expect at all. Maybe this started in some kind of twisted game of drawing and affair but it ended in love and that is all the matters.

“Why did you stop?” Jackson’s voice wakes Mark from his troughs, his voice low and raspy from the kiss.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable and I don’t want to look like I want to take advantage of you or something.”

“On a contrary,” Jackson says capturing Mark’s lips into another kiss. He can feel sparks in his body at the L.A. native soft lips against him.

While kissing, Mark runs his hands down Jackson’s body, stopping at the hem of his shirt. Softly, he pushes it up until he couldn’t do anything anymore. He breaks the kiss and helps Jackson take it off. The blonde head stops for a moment to take in the sight that is in front of him. Jackson’s skin looks so beautiful; his hair splashes on his pillow and sticking in all directions.

Jackson impatience with the older last for that long and slowly he pulled Mark’s shirt out of the way as well, leaving both now staring at each other in delight.

They couldn’t believe that faith brought them together. Both of them feeling like the world is their and could run through it together without the fair of being tear down. As long as they have each other everything else will be fine.

Eventually, Jackson impatiently pulled at Mark’s belt as the other watches silently how Jackson’s fingers working on opening it and his pants. In an instant, his jeans are pulled down and he had to move a little to take it down fully.

Now only in his boxers, Mark climbed back on top of Jackson, his legs at each side of Jackson’s tights.

Jackson doesn’t know if it was fast enough or to slowly but Mark eventually pulled him out of his jeans as well, letting butterfly kisses on his stomach. He likes that feel. He isn’t the type who will stay back and do nothing for the other but Mark’s soft lips and touches keep him in place. Maybe this is what the older wants all alone; having Jackson knowing how grateful he is that he crossed his path.

Mark got back to the job and softly he started to nibble at Jackson’s collarbone, down his chest and stopping at Hong Kong native nipples, moaning deeply.

Leaving a visible love mark on the other’s chest, he moves down on Jackson’s stomach until he reached the band of the other boxers, in no second Jackson’s erection showed.  
With no hesitation, Mark starts to suck on it and smiles around it when Jackson’s fingers found their way into Mark’s hair to guide him.

Jackson took a long breath as Mark’s warm tongue starts to lick at his length. All the troughs he previously had in his head disappearing as he watches Mark taste him. 

Making sure to create enough friction, Mark goes halfway down and lets his tongue slid over Jackson’s length as the small noises of smacking filled the silent room, making the both of them turned on even more.

Mark puts his hands on Jackson’s tights and lets Jackson’s erection slide out of his mouth. He smiles at the younger protests and goes to kiss him fully on the lips.

Soon, enough Jackson got so entertained on the kiss that he pouted on Mark breaking it in search for lube, he supposes on one of the drawers of his nightstand.

“It seems like you are quite the topping one.” Jackson chuckles, remembering Jaebum’s words. Why in the hell is he thinking about that idiot right now? With a horrific face, the younger shakes his head looking up at his boyfriend.

“I don’t know what are you thinking about, but let other take care of you, Jackson. You kept helping me all this time since we met, so lose yourself tonight and let me show you how grateful I am.”

Mark’s words left a sweet spot inside him spark and he nods his head. He can lose himself sometimes, isn’t like the apocalypse is coming and he needs to save the world. He can relax and let Mark shower him with love.

Placing a kiss on Jackson’s lips Mark reaches for the lube and the condom he took out of his drawer earlier and shoved it in Jackson’s face. “With or without?”

“Without,” Jackson replies, his face turning a shade of pink at how bold Mark sounds. Where his cute and lovable boyfriend did has gone, but he guesses that everyone has that kind of side in him.

Mark could tell that Jackson is a bit nervous, so he decided to make the best of it and as pleasant as he ever done. He coats his finger with lube while making Jackson open his legs.

Sitting comfortable between the younger’s tights; carefully he starts to rub the cold gel at Jackson’s entrance.

Jackson hissed as the cold gel makes contact with his sensible skin, spreading his legs even further. Mark leans on top of Jackson to take his lips into a kiss, with his free hand sustaining his weight from making the other uncomfortable while the other hand pushes its index finger.

Jackson doesn’t seem to be in any kind of the pain but rather being uncomfortable with the new sensation, so Mark pushes his tongue inside the other mouth to distract him.

Mark lets two of his fingers sink into Jackson, adoring the way Jackson’s walls will close around him. The older left the other adjusts while he started to bite and kiss on his neck. Jackson seems distracted enough as Mark starts to pull in and out of Jackson, trying to loosen him as much as possible.

As Jackson’s moan riches Mark’s ears, he looked up at his boyfriend adoring the sight he is seeing. The younger looks so sexy all flushed, with swollen lips and eyelids half closed as he takes deep breaths.

Jackson looks like he is pleased, so Mark got on his knees windrowing his fingers and lubed his erection with a lot amount of lube before he kneels between Jackson’s legs.

Taking a good hold on Jackson’s hips, Mark pushes in slowly, letting the heat of Jackson pull him in. He took his time, letting Jackson adjust even if he felt like pounding into him with force but he loves the other too much to do that. Love? Where did that come from? Is it love what he feels right now? Yah, he likes Jackson to no end, but love?

He looked at Jackson’s face, which is more relaxed and starts to roll his hips, thrusting into the welcoming heat of Jackson’s body. Mark keeps the place slow as he makes eye contact with the younger. They look at each other and Mark finally decides that is indeed love. His chest could burst now. He doesn’t know the younger for so much time but in this amount of time he made him fall in love. Some may say that this is bullshit but he doesn’t care at all.

Every time, Mark thrusts into Jackson, the other lets sinful moans escape his lips that give Mark confidence to go even more. Jackson is relaxed and pleasured and that is all that Mark cares for now.

More kisses can be hard along with the heavy moans while Mark rolls his hips making the other moan lustfully. Mark smiles in the kiss and keeps thrusting at the same spot making Jackson take a hold of his shoulders and arch his back, feeling the hot skin of Mark’s chest on him.

Mark got a hold of Jackson’s cock and starts to tag at it fast enough to make Jackson lose his mind, moaning the name of his lover again and again.

The older could feel hot cum on his finger, making him thrust a bit harder, this time, letting himself spill into Jackson as well.

After coming down from their bills, Mark cleaned himself and Jackson before cuddling together in each other arms, letting each other warm body comfort the other.

“Jackson?” Mark asks, searching for the other eyes. “Can I tell you something?”

Jackson arched his eyebrow and runs his fingers through Mark’s hair. “Of course.”

“You have to promise me that you won’t catalog me as crazy nor you’ll call the ambulance to take me to the crazy hospital,” Mark says with a serious face that makes Jackson chuckle.

“Scout honor.” Jackson holds his pinky finger in the air.

Mark looks Jackson in the eyes and softly, his voice barely a whisper and says “I love you.”

Mark searches Jackson face for some clue but he is meet by a blank stare and dark orbs looking at him back. The older feels his chest and heart relax when a smile breaks on Jackson's face kissing his forehead lightly. “I love you too.”


	15. Chapter 15

Something is ticklish, something is wet and something seems to be moving…

What’s going on his chest?

Jackson opens his eyes slowly but the light makes him close it in an instant. He rubs at his eyes as that something is still moving on his chest. He doesn’t remember to feel something like that before. But in Mark room, you never know.

He opens his eyes, eventually, and glares at a smock of blonde hair. Is Mark looking up close at his chest like he is studying something in there while tracing his finger on Jackson’s chest? He isn’t quite sure what’s going on there. For all he knows, Mark is playing with some sort of bug on his chest, but he hopes this isn’t the case.

“What are you doing?” Jackson asks, running his fingers through Mark’s hair, feeling the soft hairs caressing his skin.

Mark looks up at his boyfriend, a wide smile on his face and leans in to place a kiss on his lips. “Good morning.”

Jackson smiles and tags Mark’s head to kiss him again. “Indeed, it’s a good morning.” It feels so right to wake up next to Mark, it’s so right that his heart can’t even understand. “What’s going on my chest?”

Mark chuckles, the soft noise making Jackson squeeze in happiness. “Nothing important: I was bored, so I started to draw, making the piece of heart, even more, beautiful but it doesn’t seem to work at all.”

“What are you talking about?” Jackson asks, a shade of pink already making visible on his face. Mark’s a real work of art; he can make you turn red with just a few idiot pickup lines. “What were you drawing on it? You’re name?”

Mark shakes his head and starts to trace his fingers on the line already made on the younger chest. “A heart, I draw a heart, but if you insist, I can write my name inside it.”

“You can write it,” Jackson says, looking at Mark.

The older it’s so beautiful in the morning and concentrated at his chest like he never saw one before. If you told him that college will bring him, love, he will have laughed in your face and called the crazy hospital.

“So, what do you want to eat today?” Mark asks as he puts his jaw on Jackson’s chest to look better in his eyes.

“Why? Are you going to cook for me?” Jackson asks, petting slowly Mark’s necked back.

“Yes, I am going to cook for you,” Mark smirks, knowing fully that he can’t cook, not even to save his life.

“I know you don’t cook, let’s not poison me before our tenth anniversary.”

“I can learn to cook if you want me too.” Mark’s sincere words make wonder what he did in his previously life to deserve such a wonderful being.

“You can learn to cook if you want. I don’t want to make you do something that you don’t want, so until then I am going to cook this morning. Just to make sure that I’ll be alive tomorrow.”

Mark frowns, pitching Jackson’s left nipple before blowing on it. “Fine, smartass.”

“What was that?” Jackson asks as Mark buries his face into Jackson’s chest. “You are too cute for your own good.”

***

 

A month later…

 

“I can’t believe that I’m actually seeing you right now,” Jinyoung says pushing some clothes into a bag.

“I can’t believe that you are here right now,” Jackson says back looking through some pile of files on his desk.

“Ok, ok, fine, I admit: I am like never here but so are you.” His friend smiles, pushing his bag over his shoulders. “I am going, see you later.”

“Wait, Jinyoung, what are you doing for Christmas?”

“I don’t know but I am not going home, I can’t afford the ticket.” Jinyoung and Jackson wanted to go home this Christmas but Jackson can’t find himself to let his friend behind.

“I can give you money,” Jackson replies, hoping that his friend will accept his offer. “I know how much you miss your parents.”

“Thank you, Jackson, but I’ll pass,” Jinyoung says, rubbing the back of his head. “I’ll just stay here with Jaebum, but you go home, ok?”

“I can’t let you here, Jinyoung.”

“I am staying with Jaebum, besides isn’t like we are going to the same place. You fly to Hong Kong and me to Korea so don’t make that face and visit your parents.”

“But-“

“No buts, you better think about Mark. You’ll let him alone this Christmas, not me.” Jinyoung opens their door and turns to Jackson. “He doesn’t have Jaebum anymore.”

Jackson watches as his friend leaves, analyzing the words that left his mouth before he left. That’s true: Mark will be left all alone here, with no friends, no family, and no Jaebum.

They were dating for a month already, the best month of his life, but he misses his family as well. It’s kind of hard to let Mark behind for two weeks, all alone on those special days. The days that people tend to say that are the happiest days of the year.

He sighs, takes his papers from the desk leaves for Mark apartment. No, he won’t let Mark alone this Christmas, he will stay with him and call his parents telling them that something caught up in his schedules and can’t leave.

***

 

“What are you doing?” Jackson asks, picking over Mark’s shoulder.

“Finishing my work for the magazine,” Mark says putting down the pen and turns to look at Jackson. “It can wait, anyway.” He slowly tags Jackson into his lap and wraps his hands around the younger neck as Jackson wraps his arms around Mark’s torso. “How is Jinyoung?”

“Bitchy as always.” Jackson laughs, pecking the older lips. “He went to spend time with Jaebum like always.”

“I am glad they made up,” Mark says, placing his lips on Jackson’s again. “So, what do you want to do today as the first day of the holiday?”

“I was thinking that we should spend it in bed,” Jackson smirks making Mark turn a shade of pink. “Watching a movie.”

“You are unbelievable, Jackson Wang.” Mark hits Jackson’s arms in a playful way and tugs the other to stand up. “Let’s eat something. I am hungry.”

“Let it to you and you’ll always be hungry.” Jackson chuckles following Mark into the kitchen. “How do you do that anyway? Eating alike a pig and looking like that.”

Mark lets a playful smile appear on his face and turns to Jackson. “Like what?”

“Sexy as hell and cute as-“

“You better not finish that sentence because I’m going to throw you out of the window,” Mark replies, finishing his trip to the fridge, followed by Jackson.

“Want me to cook something because last time you set the kitchen on the fire.” Jackson shakes his head at the memory.

First time and the last time Mark intended to cook, he almost set the kitchen on the fire. Jackson doesn’t even know how the older managed to do that from just cooking noodles. It’s beyond human kind but Mark is cute, so Jackson overlooked that incident, not that is his kitchen that burned, but what if something happened to Mark? Since then Mark gave up cooking and Jackson decided to not let him near fire ever again.

“Would you cook something for me, something else than noodles?” Mark's face broke into a full smile, Jackson’s heart skipping a beat at his boyfriend bright face. He will cook every day for Mark if that means to see that smile.

“Yes. How about pasta or steak with vegetables? What do you want?”

“Pasta, thank you very much,” Mark says taking a seat at the kitchen table to watch Jackson move around it. He likes to see Jackson cooking, he looks hot.

“Pasta will be then,” Jackson says searching thought Mark’s kitchen cabinet that he already learned.

“Where did you learned to cook like this?” Mark asks, popping his head into his palm, a loving smile on his face. “Did you take any classes?”

“No, I learned it from my mom,” Jackson says. Another year will end and he couldn’t see the warm smile and eyes of his mother but after all, she had his dad, Mark has no one.

“She seems like a great person,” Mark says, watching Jackson doing his things. “Why you never speak of her to me?”

Jackson stops his movements to take a look at his boyfriend. How could he speak of how great is his mother in front of someone who grown without one? It’s like rubbing salt into someone’s wounds. “I never thought that you’ll like to hear about her.”

“I want to hear about everything in your life. Don’t you miss her? What about your dad?”

Jackson snaps out of his daze and starts to pour water for the pasta. “I miss both of them, of course.”

Mark hums and stares at Jackson’s suddenly clumsy moves. He can see how much he misses his parents just from his eyes. It’s painful to watch how his boyfriend is in pain. “Why don’t you visit them this holiday?”  
“I don’t think I have the time.” Jackson lies, trying to place his thought about his parents in a corner of his mind.

“Don’t shit with me, Wang. You have enough time for it.” Mark replies. He couldn’t believe that Jackson lied to him like that. “I don’t appreciate when I am lying to and you know that.”

Jackson sighs, with one last look at the boiling water he makes his way toward Mark. He seats in front of Mark and takes the older hands in his. “I don’t want to leave you all alone here, my heart won’t take it.”

Mark’s face softened, a glimpse of guilt can be seen in his eyes. A look that Jackson doesn’t like at all. “You should go, Jackson. My heart can see you standing here with me while you miss your parents.”

Jackson chuckles at Mark’s stubbornness, taking the older face into his palms. “I think we are both idiot.”

“Yah, Jackson Wang. That should be you, not me.” Mark laughs, letting Jackson’s warm palm caress his face.

“How about we both go to Hong Kong? I’ll see my parents and you can have a holiday somewhere far away from this place. Like that, we can be together.” Jackson says, searching the older face for some kind of emotion but all he can see is a blank face. “I know it’s too soon to meet my parents, so we can tell them that we are friends. Ok?”

“I don’t know what to say,” Mark says, putting his acting skills to use. “I am afraid of planes.”

“What?” Jackson asks a bit confused by the sudden remark. “Weren’t you in a plane like a month ago?”

“I guess I can’t lie.” Mark’s face broke into a smile, kissing the younger stoned one.

“And I am the kid here? Grow up, Tuan.” Jackson laughs turning to check on the pasta. “So what do you say?”

“I would like to meet your parents as your boyfriend if you want,” Mark says a faint pink making appearance on his face.

“Really? Of course, I want to present them as my boyfriend.” Jackson can’t contain his excitement and makes a joy jump with his fists up in the air.

“You are weird.”

***

 

“Wasn’t my idea the best on in the world?” Jackson asks as he wraps his legs around Mark’s waist, pushing him further.

“You can have some great idea when you want,” Mark replies, taking Jackson’s lips into a kiss as he pushes into him again. They both moan into the kiss as they work their bodies in the sink.

Breaking up for air, Jackson pushes his head into the pillows, his body hot with sweat as Mark pushes into him again and gain. He can feel Mark’s mouth oh his neck, sending shivers on his body with every little kiss he places there. “Oh God, Mark.” Jackson moans loosening his grip on Mark’s shoulder’s and takes a fist of the bed sheets. He can feel Mark working his body in and out of him, with every push his sensitive spot being hit. All the pleasure that the older can give him, he never felt to anyone before, maybe because this is called making love not just fuck.

Mark’s is an intense love, something that Jackson didn’t expect at all. His raw of thoughts is interrupted when Mark takes his cock into his hand, playing with it in the way hat Jackson likes.

“Faster, Mark.” Jackson moans as he feels the end coming. The mix between his cock being pumped and Mark hitting his sensitive spot inside him, making him forget all sanity as he lets himself takes the pleasure that the older gives him.

There is nowhere where he could feel happier than Mark’s warm embrace and Mark’s loving heart. This is the place where he belongs to, and he doesn’t want to give up this spot for anything in this world.

He knows that he and Mark are meant for each other.

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, this is it, guys.   
> Thank you all for reading it, commenting it and leaving kudos.  
> I had fun writing it and I hope to see you again in my future stories as well.  
> Markson forever.


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